tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73980895085708068542024-03-05T06:41:26.439-08:00Biome MechanicChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-64257758373288889162030-10-29T08:52:00.000-07:002019-10-29T08:55:12.878-07:00Please NoteAs this is a blog, all the posts (except the first one) are in the <i><b>reverse order</b></i> of the dates they were posted. So for the earliest posts, <a href="https://biomemechanic.blogspot.com/2016/04/" target="_blank">you have to go to the last posts in the blog</a>.ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-19065891016208767762030-04-21T09:34:00.000-07:002019-10-29T08:49:03.517-07:00Repent, Reset, Renew<b><i>S</i>unday, April 1, 2016</b><br />
<br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW7d2IADaKX4ebsetkjn063_mbGKg-J1fwIBPoTDBwh0ibbafSw38ZghBRjmM1gOQNOLLz8jVsCXM-bJRbW1jYORTuemwTTGDFuKBHPolf-soI3EmlyNNgrFiRBbDkbCpzIWOZ34QVCEg/s1600/trees.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW7d2IADaKX4ebsetkjn063_mbGKg-J1fwIBPoTDBwh0ibbafSw38ZghBRjmM1gOQNOLLz8jVsCXM-bJRbW1jYORTuemwTTGDFuKBHPolf-soI3EmlyNNgrFiRBbDkbCpzIWOZ34QVCEg/s1600/trees.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW7d2IADaKX4ebsetkjn063_mbGKg-J1fwIBPoTDBwh0ibbafSw38ZghBRjmM1gOQNOLLz8jVsCXM-bJRbW1jYORTuemwTTGDFuKBHPolf-soI3EmlyNNgrFiRBbDkbCpzIWOZ34QVCEg/s400/trees.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="color: white; font-size: x-large;"><b><i style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> O</span> </i></b></span><i><b> </b></i>kay, the building blocks are coming in one by one.<br />
<br />
I ordered that <a href="http://ubiome.com/pages/buynow">test kit from uBiome</a>. Now I've ordered some <a href="https://labdoor.com/review/renew-life-ultimate-flora-critical-care">heavy-duty probiotics</a> that I plan to use in Phase II (Phase I, you will recall, is the two-week "cleaning of the slate" that I plan to reset my gut biome to as close to neutral as I can).<br />
<br />
So the blocks are coming in for assembly as I do the research—no point in conducting this grand experiment if I skimp on any portion of it or hurry through any critical phases.<br />
<br />
Nope. It's going to be as close to a real-world small-scale clinical trial as I can manage with my Resources of One.<br />
<br />
Feel free to follow my path exactly—I'm not doing anything that is unreasonable or unaffordable for any normal person alive that I know. Or just follow it loosely—there isn't any real need to buy test kits or probiotic supplements; you simply have to follow the general principles, ie. <i>Repent, Reset, and Renew.</i><br />
<br />
I figure once I get the test kit, I will proceed thusly:<br />
<br />
<b>Phase I</b><b>: </b><i>Two Weeks</i><br />
<br />
Two weeks doing what I always do. Eating what I always eat. Drinking what I always drink. Introducing no new influences, removing no old ones. Proceeding, in other words, as normally as I possibly can: <i><b>A Day in the Life Of Nick</b></i> x 14.<br />
<br />
At the end of this phase, I will take the first lab sample and send it in. This will be the control phase: What Nick's Gut Normally Looks Like. Of course, all intake, mood changes, unusual occurrences will be rigorously documented (as through this entire experiment) so that we will have a good idea of what life was like before the whole Upset.<br />
<br />
<b>Phase II: </b><i>Two Weeks</i><br />
<br />
The Grand Remove. Eliminate all but the most essential. All extra sugars, and I mean ALL extra sugars. No more sugar in my coffee, not even a half a teaspoon. No sweets <i>at all</i>. No carbohydrates that take the form of glucose—that means no starches (potatoes, rice, pretty much all wheat in any form, basically anything that says "Carbohydrates" on the label). No drinks except black coffee, black tea, and water.<br />
<br />
No processed fats, no meats of any kind, no fish, no dairy, no processed <i>anything—</i>that means, nothing that was produced in a modern factory.<br />
<br />
That pretty much eliminates most things that are available to eat these days. Most, but not all.<br />
<br />
Of course, I don't want to die of malnutrition. Certain vegetables, meaning those that don't contain large amounts of sugars (carrots) or carbs (potatoes)—will be on the table. I will have to do the research. Perhaps some legumes or nuts will also be allowed—again, we will have to see.<br />
<br />
Things to spice things up, such as lemons and lemon juice, parsley, cilantro, basil—these will all be allowed. My background as a cook should prove useful here—how do you doll up a glass of water? (Hint: fresh mint and lemons are involved).<br />
<br />
This will be the most miserable phase, but it's one that has to be done—no shortcuts. Ruthlessness and sacrifice will be the watchwords here I am my only reliable guinea pig, so fucking up on this portion is <i>completely verboten</i>.<br />
<br />
<b>Phase III: </b><i>Two Weeks</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
The Grand Reintroduction. This is still up in the air, but it will involve cautiously introducing elements—such as the probiotic supplement—one at a time, and slowly. Each new reintroduction—dairy, starches, meats, carbs—will have their own carefully documented windows and exist in isolation. In other words, I won't start eating whole wheat pitas one day and three days later add chicken. It will be either-or at first. I just want to see what this does to my general digestive process. Gas? Bloating? Diarrhea? Constipation? All will be revealed!<br />
<br />
After all, it will be the bugs down below who are reorganizing—not me. It is they who will be picking leaders, removing troublemakers, restoring equilibrium. I expect the most troublesome portion of the experiment to occur now.<br />
<br />
At the end of this period, Test 2 will be undertaken, sample sent in to the lab.<br />
<br />
<b>Phase IV: </b><i>To Be Determined, but longer than two weeks</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Consolidation of the new plan. Figuring out what is reasonably doable in terms of continuing. No point in creating <a href="http://www.gapsdiet.com/">some messy, complicated diet that requires much fussing and fiddling to implement</a>. The new diet must be easy to create every single day, easy to shop for, not unduly expensive, with no hard-to-find ingredients, and emergency substitutions—read, "Day Off"—be considered. These will be days in which you can't fall back on your diet—eating at a restaurant, at a friend's, or other occasion in which following your diet is impossible. Included here is the "occasional" lapse, as in, that square of cake you've been craving, that once--in-a-blue-moon steak and scalloped potatoes, that hamburger.<br />
<br />
After all, a deprived system is a rebellious system.<br />
<br />
At the end of this phase will be the final test, Test 3, which should—if all has gone according to plan—indicate that you are on track to be as healthy as you will ever find it possible to be.<br />
<br />
So there you have it.<br />
<br />
The countdown has begun, if only in my mind. The day the test arrive is the day Phase I begins.<br />
<br />
<i>Repent!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Reset!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Renew!</i>ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-20061810789947023942016-08-31T16:59:00.001-07:002016-08-31T17:05:32.702-07:00Revenge of the Trillion Samurai<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuRDmYe_gjqBM64Ehe6a4XYijY0OnIVdNW3iEAktLMZtkqOZt34yEf7GEipgiFwK4epbp7CnFT-TfH4Z1oJFjpzQ6IHD6AU6lKd0kp4b4vdgCFnVT6SdqjM1IPrd16iAy5ACVurI9FWTk/s1600/seamless-pattern-little-angry-viruses-microbes-monsters-51433351.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuRDmYe_gjqBM64Ehe6a4XYijY0OnIVdNW3iEAktLMZtkqOZt34yEf7GEipgiFwK4epbp7CnFT-TfH4Z1oJFjpzQ6IHD6AU6lKd0kp4b4vdgCFnVT6SdqjM1IPrd16iAy5ACVurI9FWTk/s320/seamless-pattern-little-angry-viruses-microbes-monsters-51433351.jpg" width="299" /></a></div>
<span style="color: white; font-size: x-large;"><b><i style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #274e13; color: #7f6000;"> </span><span style="background-color: #38761d; color: white;"> </span><span style="background-color: #6aa84f; color: white;">J</span></span><span style="color: white;"><span style="background-color: #93c47d; color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></i></b></span><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i><b style="background-color: #b6d7a8;"> </b></i></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> apan crushed me. It took everything I'd worked for for almost a quarter of a year and turned it upside down and inside out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Me, who's been ranting and raving about <a href="http://sugardemon.blogspot.ca/" target="_blank">sugar demons</a> and gluten fasts, me, who's been prebioting and probioting and vitamining and fightamining, me, reduced to eating <a href="https://youtu.be/6UL34YmhgUU" target="_blank">four cakes a day</a> for breakfast, lunch, dinner and a night-night treat, but not neglecting a sugared "Kwasson" or a "Fruits Bar" in between. All that punctuated with four or five lattes, six teas and bottomless glasses of fuzzy water, pasta or pizza for dinner and what you have is a very, very angry Biome.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The Trillions were up in tiny arms, waving their ciliae and pilli and filaments and flagella and other maddened microbial mechanisms of movement in vehement protest.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">My Trillions decided not to give me the hint by making me nauseous, as they knew I might retaliate by downing a particularly disturbing morsel of sushi, so in order to punish me they conscripted their Japanese brethren, who gave me </span>honourable gallstones as a housewarming present.<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The gall!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Upon returning to Montreal, it was not possible to just resume my previous diet straightaway. In fact, I had become so conditioned to the sweet routine in Japan that I have found it almost impossible to dump the sweet stuff, even trying to imitate the drink they made me at one of my favourite café haunts: Honey-lemon sparkling water.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I've been chowing down on the glutenous junk as well: croissants for breakfast (not whole wheat, because I can't find them!) and even regular durum-wheat pasta, because Brigitte doesn't particularly like the whole wheat version.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">And the third gut-biome test I sent in, in July, has not come through yet, so I only have those two first tests to go on. The day I got back from Japan I took a sample and sent it in, and I'll be very interested to see what THAT honourable result will be.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But it's definitely time to be ruthless and return to The Diet, in all its tree-hugging, granola-crunching, Save The Whales glory.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But this time, a little more is at stake. Gather round, my merry band of conspirators, because i have some news for you: this will not all be in vain.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Because now there is disturbing <i>proof</i> of what all those doomsaying dieticians and chart-waving scientists have been telling us for decades now: if we pursue healthy lifestyles, we live longer. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">No, not the couple of years you'd expect.. Not even the ten years you might grudgingly concede.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">No, if you pursued a healthy lifestyle—whatever that might be—<a href="http://news.nationalpost.com/health/the-power-of-prevention-life-expectancy-tool-weighs-the-burdens-of-behaviour?__lsa=ac78-9f94" target="_blank">you could expect to add <i>seventeen-point-nine years</i> to your life</a>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">That means croaking at age 88 instead of kicking the bucket at 70. <i>Seventeen years</i> is your reward for all those cakes uneaten, those glasses of single malt undrunk, all those florets of broccoli and <i>cassoulet de wheatgrass sprouts</i>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">That is not an unsignificant number, and if you will excuse the choice of words, it's extremely sobering.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">And let's not forget, that's seventeen years not being sick, presumably being in the prime of exuberant health, able to take cruises to Reïytvïkken or Tromsø or get in those extra games of shuffleboard at the Residence when all around you are glued to The Price Is Right. I mean, Shady Pines, here I fucking come, dudes!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So when I finally cast off these sugary shackles and re-enter the world of slow, deliberate, Biome-friendly food, it will be in the knowledge that it <i>is</i> for a good cause, that there <i>will</i> be a tangible reward, and that the Trillions will be able to continue having children, and grandchildren, and great grand-children, and great great grandchildren, </span>and <span style="color: #444444;">great great great grandchildren,</span> <span style="color: #666666;">and great great great great grandchildren,</span> <span style="color: #999999;">and great great great great great grandchildren,</span> <span style="color: #cccccc;">and great great great great great grandchildren, </span><span style="color: #eeeeee;">and great great great great great great grandchildren,</span> <span style="color: #f3f3f3;">and great great great great great great great grandchildren,</span>ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-10038065273498584942016-08-14T20:52:00.002-07:002016-08-14T20:52:19.528-07:00Hell Is a Mosburger<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU2KYcZ2pxL5zC8ZI4RQOAGDEWK0K8MdVAqWAvlyYcN9Y1RZxHQ-491FoBLIbWl0pEcz1LueTJoSrQBUnIZjtz3KYFSgg3k-LLzcWtw-uUxl4B1IZFpc4nLtTwo8aTYYfh-G3_nr01TJca/s1600/buspic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU2KYcZ2pxL5zC8ZI4RQOAGDEWK0K8MdVAqWAvlyYcN9Y1RZxHQ-491FoBLIbWl0pEcz1LueTJoSrQBUnIZjtz3KYFSgg3k-LLzcWtw-uUxl4B1IZFpc4nLtTwo8aTYYfh-G3_nr01TJca/s400/buspic.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><i>At the bus stop, after saying goodbye to Tai-chan</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Yes, Misery is a place. I've done this trip drunk, but that never helped—I lost too many laptops.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
One saving grace is the Wifi at Kansai airport—ever since I can remember, going back to even 2005 or so, they always had free, fast and easy-to-log-on Wifi—bearing in mind that back then, 864K Jpegs were actually quite large.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But here I am, in Miseryville.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It would be better except for this persistent abdominal pain—very worrying. It's unnatural. I just can't figure it out, but it's not going away. Right below the sternum, mostly, but sometimes radiating out to the right, right where the upper lobe of the liver would be—or the pancreas, I'm guessing. Oh, and the esophagus. Oh, and the stomach. Fuck!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Well, can't say as how I'm maltreating it, except for the CRAP I AM FORCED TO CONSUME.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
In Japan, there is NO SUCH THING as healthy food—unless you're heavily into Japanese food, and that's expensive. If you're forced to eat on the run all the time, in restaurants or from convenience stores, you are royally FUCKED. There is no such thing as whole wheat here, no such thing as a plain croissant. Everything is soaked, spiked, painted, dusted, glazed, SLABBED with sugar. I mean, how can you actually INSERT A CUBE OF BUTTER INTO A PASTRY so it explodes bizarrely into your mouth? Yet they have done that very thing; I am a living witness.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It's just sick—so I'm sick. I'm sick of trying to decipher their katakana—the phonetic way they convert foreign words, so "croissant" becomes "ku-a-sa-n." And it becomes "su-ii-to" (sweet). Then there is the ubiquitous "ku-ri-i-mu ku-a-sa-n" (cream croissant) and hundreds of variations. Whole wheat, unsugared is not one of them.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So fuck knows what this is doing to my biome—if it is indeed my biome.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Last night I was dragged, unhappily to a quite upscale "sushi boat" restaurant, except the fare is not $1 a piece, it's $4 a piece. You are charged by the colour and pattern of the plates you get your food on, and then they count the plates.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I had two <i>maguro</i> sushis and one stick of <i>ebi tempura</i> (shrimp tempura) but the bill for all five of us—three children and two adults—came to around $105. Tai-chan did most of the devouring. I counted 12 plates in front of him . . .</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Regrettably, not anticipating this authentic Nipponese feast, I didn't bring my camera gear, so it is left to your imagination . . . middle-aged men wearing white chefs' hats slicing, patting, assembling dozens of glistening sea creatures, some alive just seconds before, and putting them atop clumps of sticky white flecks of bright white endosperm-wrapped rice, middle-aged women in asceptic white frocks orchestrating the mayhem in a cacophony of fishy, raucous Japaneseness.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It's quite insane.<br />
<br /></div>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RJLMpyMxWvo" width="640"></iframe><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So as I sit here glumly at a fast food counter at Kansai Intl., my flight a yawning four hours away, some James Taylor Swift songs shrieking on the loudspeakers around me, I beg you to whisper a <i>sliver of happiness</i> to my quavering, wavering trillions, as they anxiously await the next ugly surprise that is going to plummet down amongst them.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/1QwbQCjwv1g" width="640"></iframe></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I have to move now—I've been practically squatting here for two hours, charging my Devices. they're going to kick me out pretty soon.<br />
<br />
See youse in Vancouver.</div>
ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-57212318822248336232016-07-26T14:05:00.001-07:002016-07-26T14:22:10.455-07:00The Japanese Microbiome Calls: 共生生物どうぞう!(Welcome, Symbionts!)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPmq15AsOX8LyaecZNn3J8PEIJV_p0o7p7kMEHlPla3zQ84edfNdaXVXFpEuKv7xtpH54O4Fp8is6YfYknkQfKh_d1fhvFSJK86YjP-ntNmj9orfHiw9JdxesOP8Blj8HXTX5eKfFW16U/s1600/17338703-Kawaii-japanese-cuisine-clip-art-Stock-Vector-food-sushi-japanese.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPmq15AsOX8LyaecZNn3J8PEIJV_p0o7p7kMEHlPla3zQ84edfNdaXVXFpEuKv7xtpH54O4Fp8is6YfYknkQfKh_d1fhvFSJK86YjP-ntNmj9orfHiw9JdxesOP8Blj8HXTX5eKfFW16U/s320/17338703-Kawaii-japanese-cuisine-clip-art-Stock-Vector-food-sushi-japanese.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="color: white; font-size: x-large;"><b><i style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #4c1130; color: #7f6000;"> </span><span style="background-color: #741b47; color: white;"> </span><span style="background-color: #a64d79; color: white;">T</span></span><span style="color: white;"><span style="background-color: #c27ba0; color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></i></b></span><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i><b style="background-color: #d5a6bd;"> </b></i></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span>he Japanese microbiome must be vastly different from the Western one.<br />
<br />
Contrary to popular Western beliefs, the Japanese don't dine on sushi for breakfast, have sukiyaki for lunch and then grill a nice Steak Teriyaki for dinner, all accompanied by their sticky rice.<br />
<br />
What they actually eat is so vastly different from us (but catching up, no doubt about that!) that I can't even describe it to you. It involves lots of vegetables <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daikon">you've never heard of</a> and treats that would <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natt%C5%8D">make you puke</a>. And yes, there <i>is</i> lots of rice.<br />
<br />
The thing is, they do eat rice often, but not in large quantities. Their microbiomes <i>love</i> the extra sugars and carbohydrates, but they're extremely <i>complex</i> carbohydrates with multiple compounds that benefit the microbiome in ways vastly different than our slice of all-dressed pizza.<br />
<br />
But yes, I'm going to make my two-week stay in Japan yet another experiment—because I live to be a guinea pig. (Moru-motto in Japanese—their fucked-up interpretation of the word "Marmot." They use this to talk about all lab animals, irrespective of species.)<br />
<br />
I will take a sample the day before I leave—conveniently on a Sunday again—and then eat my "Japanese" diet while I'm there for two weeks. The day I come home I'll take another sample.<br />
<br />
Regrettably, I won't be eating sushi and ramen every day. Because the area around <a href="http://en.fujita-nara.com/">my hotel, in downtown Nara</a>, is populated by <a href="https://www.tripadvisor.ca/ShowUserReviews-g298198-d5283351-r184563623-Trattoria_Piano-Nara_Nara_Prefecture_Kinki.html">Italian</a> and <a href="https://tokyocheapo.com/food-and-drink/cafe/doutor-for-dogs/">hot dog places</a>.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijyBfR7R3pgue-WEtw8yeba9JQ1oJaI5zlObuZMRTccqXUk4nU1RPRqJAObXhk662qNQ34FiHM2dS0lH0ziqWh5cJICPQ9BecGYEh3-UnSTlZSOkj4hVeyMz1amd2J30aeE-4x9LaV074/s1600/294860.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijyBfR7R3pgue-WEtw8yeba9JQ1oJaI5zlObuZMRTccqXUk4nU1RPRqJAObXhk662qNQ34FiHM2dS0lH0ziqWh5cJICPQ9BecGYEh3-UnSTlZSOkj4hVeyMz1amd2J30aeE-4x9LaV074/s640/294860.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>This chain café is everywhere in Japan and serves great hot dogs. I won't be eating them, but my son, Tai-chan, loves them. I might ask HIM to take a sample. Now that might be interesting! I think I'll take a kit with me to Japan . . .</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
There <i>are</i> no places that serve the so-called Japanese food that everyone is familiar with. There is no steak teriyaki—there is something called <i>teppan-yaki</i> (鉄板焼き) but it's frequented by high rollers and you'd <a href="https://www.tripadvisor.ca/ShowUserReviews-g1066451-d5979166-r267989096-Teppanyaki_Kaikaya-Minato_Tokyo_Tokyo_Prefecture_Kanto.html">better be ready to flash a wad</a> before entering. Sushi places are also for high rollers. The average Japanese go to places like <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robatayaki">robata-yakis</a> </i>which are fairly cheap and you can drink like a fish.<br />
<br />
I will not be drinking like a fish. In fact, I will not be drinking at all—<i>and my biome cheers</i>.<br />
<br />
But back to my biome, and my test results. It's all very curious—and unsettling.<br />
<br />
Let me explain: I did my first test at the second week of the grand experiment—<a href="http://biomemechanic.blogspot.ca/2016/04/two-weeks-of-being-bad.html">for two weeks I had been eating my regular diet</a>, allowing all sorts of things like whipped cream and cake and Clamato, all sorts of other things I don't consume any more. It was meant as a control—in other words, went my thinking, <i>this will be the bad test, the one which will show how fucked up my diet really is</i>.<br />
<br />
So when I went to do the sample, I actually used two test "kits," which actually are small vials containing some sort of preservative clear liquid. The idea is, you swab a small tissue (provided) with your "contribution sample," and then swish the tip of the swab in the vial containing the liquid. You screw back on the top, shake it up, and voilà. It's ready to ship.<br />
<br />
Thing is, they provide a "spare" vial—I guess just in case you screw up the first sample.<br />
<br />
Well, I didn't screw up the first sample, but I contributed to the "spare" vial, with a swab from the same sample on the tissue that I had used for Sample One. So if you're following, the Spare vial should have contained roughly exactly the same quantities and kinds of bacteria that the Main vial contained.<br />
<br />
Except it didn't.<br />
<br />
When I got the results of my first test, I kind of ignored the fact that they'd done a complete test on my Spare sample as well—when I finally came to the realisation that I actually had two sets of results from the same test, I was naturally expecting the results to be identical. I mean, the swabs had come from the exact same sample on the tissue. How different could the results be?<br />
<br />
Well, take a look. I'm not sure which one is the Main sample and which is the Spare, but it doesn't really matter. What matters is<i> how different they are from each other</i>. (Right-click to open the images in a new window; then magnify.)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrET3nVryQhkG5N9Q6J-NQrBYTroe2gieIKHCq2hvGTjMD1l0b-eAzV6bOqZeRG2XlwHdIN8kv9dt5mRakt1BkzD5Z8C0CezXPQ9C9kmB8oGiHM_90LGZCfV4GI1dUzUmgWGo_ia8TVT8/s1600/may25a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrET3nVryQhkG5N9Q6J-NQrBYTroe2gieIKHCq2hvGTjMD1l0b-eAzV6bOqZeRG2XlwHdIN8kv9dt5mRakt1BkzD5Z8C0CezXPQ9C9kmB8oGiHM_90LGZCfV4GI1dUzUmgWGo_ia8TVT8/s640/may25a.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihUsqZP-H_FCvjs7RxWeKjGOoLx9Z4htAZf6GX4FHVu6dRIsTM6N6jWvtU3N3pvsjxxzFkqC8lNH7x4TTa06eHk34CgInPP3z0DItSWZ9blyGAhpK5t1JjefNRp0b2389GqnfSrhtjEio/s1600/may25b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="322" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihUsqZP-H_FCvjs7RxWeKjGOoLx9Z4htAZf6GX4FHVu6dRIsTM6N6jWvtU3N3pvsjxxzFkqC8lNH7x4TTa06eHk34CgInPP3z0DItSWZ9blyGAhpK5t1JjefNRp0b2389GqnfSrhtjEio/s640/may25b.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
For example, look at the "Diversity percentile." It differs by an incredible <span style="font-weight: bold;">8%. </span>If that is the case there, how much should I trust the figures on all the other pages?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Then, I got the results from my second test. When I did the second test, it was three weeks after the first test, to the day. The first of those three weeks, I had radically eliminated everything from my diet. No sugar—at all. No dairy, at all, No gluten, at all. I was truly deprived, for a week.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The second and third weeks before Test #2, after the week of the Great Purge, I started with the pre-and probiotics—<a href="https://www.prebiotin.com/product-info/prebiotic-fiber/">Prebiotin powder</a> in <a href="http://www.saugeencountrydairy.com/kefir.html">kefir</a> for breakfast, with a <a href="https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B00772DYRA/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1">probiotic pill containing 50 billion bacteria</a>, and the rest of the day with very careful and measured reintroduction of only the healthiest comestibles that I could come up with. Viz. lots of broccoli, lots of fruits and nuts and no added-sugar anything. At the end of those three weeks I did Test #2, in exactly the same manner I had done the first test.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So I was expecting radically different results.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
What I got, however, was just a puzzle . . . (remember, the dates on these tests are not the dates I took the samples—they're about a month delayed).</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwiS7Mh_VRMnN82Xl3xPQsOH4WL0JZFhXt1xCB4It4IBaeVzuulcvCrdEttVr6GOvJR0tTtCc5EMuouaZn4wPLln4mP9DKYI7teRG8HC9qCQir0QK70hdbMssic1sNRYoQui3O2Duvqlk/s1600/june28a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="322" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwiS7Mh_VRMnN82Xl3xPQsOH4WL0JZFhXt1xCB4It4IBaeVzuulcvCrdEttVr6GOvJR0tTtCc5EMuouaZn4wPLln4mP9DKYI7teRG8HC9qCQir0QK70hdbMssic1sNRYoQui3O2Duvqlk/s640/june28a.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9aJ5WW7UeT1yfqORY_hlfG5x34YsCpQuMODZ2hT85IurazVvvaTfZITi6SOu0UODC3ylE94oLjg4MInBh6gQXxg6Hj-oVcE95Jve2vyK0grmYajW8g17Y79byy9kzbgBHcYaXNb-4lBQ/s1600/june28b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9aJ5WW7UeT1yfqORY_hlfG5x34YsCpQuMODZ2hT85IurazVvvaTfZITi6SOu0UODC3ylE94oLjg4MInBh6gQXxg6Hj-oVcE95Jve2vyK0grmYajW8g17Y79byy9kzbgBHcYaXNb-4lBQ/s640/june28b.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
Notice how my "Diversity percentile" has plummeted—exactly the opposite of what I thought would occur. Even my "Wellness match" is disturbingly reduced.<br />
<br />
How can this be?<br />
<br />
But don't take my word for it—take a look for yourself (link and password in my mass email of this post. (<a href="mailto:nickr@bell.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Email me here</a> if you want the link and password).<br />
<br />
I took Test #3 a couple of weeks ago and am waiting for the results. But it takes a keen eye and a head for figures to analyze the results—a degree in microbiology wouldn't hurt, either.<br />
<br />
But the Japan trip opens up a new realm of possibilities. Can I really radically reshape my microbiome just by being in another country?<br />
<br />
Results at<b> juu-ichi-ji</b>!ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-90380815174151274232016-07-19T15:38:00.001-07:002016-07-19T15:38:41.873-07:00We're Surrounded<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIdoMv_NfKeOpFrJZAiIQAmhOOouUJzphTK9YiWSzs5A58_rIgAeLUmn-vz4MBm3b9i0bjq1IQtLJo9mXf8Sx2J-PgtnHFlw8UG1YX9J5TJpgh_gCnn3az687wJUbOAuXtoFdDTX7WJh4/s1600/bacvir.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="397" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIdoMv_NfKeOpFrJZAiIQAmhOOouUJzphTK9YiWSzs5A58_rIgAeLUmn-vz4MBm3b9i0bjq1IQtLJo9mXf8Sx2J-PgtnHFlw8UG1YX9J5TJpgh_gCnn3az687wJUbOAuXtoFdDTX7WJh4/s400/bacvir.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="color: white; font-size: x-large;"><b><i style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #274e13; color: #7f6000;"> </span><span style="background-color: #38761d; color: white;"> </span><span style="background-color: #6aa84f; color: white;">I</span></span><span style="color: white;"><span style="background-color: #93c47d; color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></i></b></span><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i><b style="background-color: #b6d7a8;"> </b></i></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span>t's always puzzled me: these scientists on this <a href="http://setiathome.ssl.berkeley.edu/">rabid quest to find life on other planets</a>. What are you gonna do, guys, when you find the life? You're gonna fuck it like you've <a href="http://indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com/2011/05/09/genocide-other-means-us-army-slaughtered-buffalo-plains-indian-wars-30798">fucked the life we have</a>.<br />
<br />
And we have so much life! We have life on every square millimetre of this planet—and all the way to the <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2416761/Scientists-claim-evidence-ALIEN-LIFE-Balloon-sent-edge-atmosphere-picks-organisms-come-space.html">edge of space</a> and to the <a href="https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20827874-800-life-is-found-in-deepest-layer-of-earths-crust/">bottom of Earth's crust</a>, there is life. In fact, you could say that Earth is just one huge organism, which it is—in the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Oxygenation_Event">Great Oxygenation Crisis</a> cyanobacteria came along and produced oxygen, which killed 99% of the life that was living at the time, because they were all anaerobic. In other words, the bacteria destroyed the lungs of the planet and changed them into oxygen-loving lungs.<br />
<br />
And then, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eukaryote">the life adapted</a>. The huge amounts of oxygen in the air enabled giant life forms to evolve; <a href="http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2011/08/110808-ancient-insects-bugs-giants-oxygen-animals-science/">giant dragonflies the size of small eagles</a>.<br />
<br />
So why don't the scientists turn their attention to the enormous amount of life we have right before our very eyes—in fact, <a href="http://www.healio.com/optometry/cornea-external-disease/news/print/primary-care-optometry-news/%7B586c29a0-2bf5-4548-9670-14e88fae9b98%7D/demodex-infestation-requires-immediate-aggressive-treatment-by-doctor-patient">ALL OVER our very eyes</a>.<br />
<br />
I was cleaning some cilantro just now and thinking about what I was holding in my hands: a magnificent edible plant with its <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/14/dining/14curious.html?_r=0">own unique character</a> that evolved over millions of years to be this way, to taste this way. And only this plant tastes like this; for reasons that no one can possibly know.<br />
<br />
And what will they find on Mars? <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/askscience/comments/1kvyng/if_we_were_to_discover_amino_acids_on_mars_would/">They won't even find the smallest protein or amino acid</a>, and they surely won't find a bacterium. But why do they care? Why not study Earth and all its magnificent progeny?<br />
<br />
All life came from bacteria, <a href="http://www.lpi.usra.edu/science/kring/epo_web/impact_cratering/origin_of_life/">billions of years ago</a>—and viruses.<br />
<br />
People, even knowledgeable people, seem to get very confused when confronted with bacteria and viruses. They really don't seem to know the difference, so they <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/11/29/have-a-cold-dont-ask-your-doctor-for-antibiotics/">ask for antibiotics when they get a cold</a>. This is ridiculous, as is the notion that <a href="http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/coldsandflu/Pages/Preventionandcure.aspx">if you're wet in the cold, you'll catch a chill.</a> The cold does't give you a cold; viruses give you a cold.<br />
<br />
So what is the difference? If I had to qualify bacteria and viruses, I'd have to say that bacteria are tiny animals with no brain that are simply surviving for one purpose: to reproduce. Collectively, they form a brain, like a vast beehive. They're aggressive, but careful. They want only to live, to reproduce.<br />
<br />
Viruses, on the other hand, are simply brainless bundles of proteins that are wrapped in bad news. There are actually disputes as to whether or not they can even qualify as being alive. Perhaps they're more like vitamins, or minerals. Non-living but reproducing nonetheless.<br />
<br />
But they aren't too concerned about protecting their hosts; they don't care if their host dies; they just want to reproduce until they can't reproduce any more.<br />
<br />
Bacteria and viruses survive side by side, but they're like the <a href="http://ieg-ego.eu/en/threads/europe-on-the-road/economic-migration/irial-glynn-emigration-across-the-atlantic-irish-italians-and-swedes-compared-1800-1950">Irish and the Italians in 1920s Chicago</a>. They agree to disagree, but they divide up their turf peaceably, because it's business.If they went around just killing each other, they'd all starve.<br />
<br />
I've just received the results from my second biome test, and they're extremely puzzling. They're not at all what I expected.<br />
<br />
But that's for next time. Do the study on the <a href="http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/infectious-diseases/expert-answers/infectious-disease/faq-20058098">difference between bacteria and viruses</a>, and remember: you are literally swimming in an ocean of invisible life. Don't worry about aliens.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It_Came_from_Outer_Space">They'e already here</a>.ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-63797497333165026772016-07-12T17:09:00.004-07:002016-07-12T17:09:57.420-07:00Deadly New Virus Warning<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilmO0bEWb3tXmuNjGU91moXxw5CZWyo1oq1pLgkR27dtOUq1y6f1O0uU7jEKO7JEgGOLSU81iETCKl30nsFqQkMViebI-Un8nlQ168qR9JiUrrfGcTFqgriQegkMUy5HU9x9HcAFTO8Ck/s1600/asparagus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilmO0bEWb3tXmuNjGU91moXxw5CZWyo1oq1pLgkR27dtOUq1y6f1O0uU7jEKO7JEgGOLSU81iETCKl30nsFqQkMViebI-Un8nlQ168qR9JiUrrfGcTFqgriQegkMUy5HU9x9HcAFTO8Ck/s320/asparagus.jpg" width="275" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Asparagus Syndrome victim</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="color: white; font-size: x-large;"><b><i style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #4c1130; color: #7f6000;"> </span><span style="background-color: #741b47; color: white;"> </span><span style="background-color: #a64d79; color: white;">I</span></span><span style="color: white;"><span style="background-color: #c27ba0; color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></i></b></span><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i><b style="background-color: #d5a6bd;"> </b></i></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> rarely comment on things that are not biome related, but I feel the need to point out a dangerous new virus that seems to have originated in Japan.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It goes under various names, among them "TinyHead virus" and "Head-shrinking virus" but with a bit of sleuthing, I have identified the true culprit to be a cellular-phone virus originating from something called "<a href="http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/news/a61152/tennessee-pokemon-ad/">PokemonGo</a> v.1.0."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I have, for the sake of pronounceability, renamed the virus "Asparagus Syndrome."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Asparagus Syndrome is characterized by the rapid fashion in which victims are overwhelmed with spontaneous microcephaly (shrinking of the head) and an overpowering urge to keep a cellular communication device six inches from their face at all times.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The main risks from Asparagus Syndrome are not caused by the disease itself but rather by injuries sustained from walking into stationary illumination installations (SIIs), more commonly known as lamp-posts.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">If you suspect you have had any recent contact with a Japanese person, Japanese people or products originating in Japan, the CDC recommends either avoiding the usage of all cellular communications products, or as a last resort an emergency head transplant, available at most witch doctors' nationwide.</span>ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-38232848262609425682016-07-11T09:21:00.003-07:002016-07-11T20:13:09.888-07:00What Osama Bin Laden Taught Me About My Microbiome<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZNpv4Pw5jv6RVUev9W7UafiXJBCsKidPzc4TJqYVehI2KhnuVIuPlvI9IYyesojEMO6EiaEYDjeTPuZVLY6JE74FvYFix64dPnKKljM8dxrqKnvrXzahLRpUxVV38JTEuGtru1lCHoBQ/s1600/holemicrobe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZNpv4Pw5jv6RVUev9W7UafiXJBCsKidPzc4TJqYVehI2KhnuVIuPlvI9IYyesojEMO6EiaEYDjeTPuZVLY6JE74FvYFix64dPnKKljM8dxrqKnvrXzahLRpUxVV38JTEuGtru1lCHoBQ/s400/holemicrobe.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arvo";"><b><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: purple; color: #7f6000;"> </span><span style="background-color: #a64d79;"> </span><span style="background-color: magenta;">O</span></span><span style="background-color: #d5a6bd; color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></i></b></span></span><span style="background-color: #ead1dc;"> </span>nce, a long long time ago, I had a Great Job.<br />
<br />
I'd get up mornings and shuffle from bed into the living room and over to my computer.<br />
<br />
I'd drink my coffee (or a beer—I wasn't choosy at the time) and play with my mouse all day, putting pretty pictures on the screen, writing giggly things and then digitally crumpling them up.<br />
<br />
Then, occasionally, I would summon The File, and carefully erase the figures entered in it with new figures, save it as a PDF and then send it off in an email.<br />
<br />
There. I might have just sent off an invoice for $12,764.54.<br />
<br />
No, really. Happened all the time.<br />
<br />
Maybe not $12,764.54, every time—maybe just $453.21, or $76.87, or $5572.83—you get the picture.<br />
<br />
I usually just made up the figures out of thin air. <i>How much aggravation should I bill them for this time?</i> And then I'd type out what looked to be a very carefully calculated number—except that it wasn't. I'd just make it up, right there, right then. The only calculation I did was how many jackets, or stereos, or TVs, or cameras, or restaurant dinners I'd buy with my winnings.<br />
<br />
I was, from 1996 to 2001, the sole graphic designer for the entire company of <a href="https://www.aircanada.com/cargo/en/">Air Canada Cargo</a>. Not Passenger, you understand—Cargo. But Cargo was pretty big. It occupied an entire floor at The Base, at Dorval Intl/YUL, or in the unmarked Air Canada building in Vendôme, where it moved later on.<br />
<br />
I did all <a href="http://www.nicholas.robinson.name/ads.html">their ads</a>, all <a href="http://www.nicholas.robinson.name/newsletters.html">their newsletters</a>, all their <a href="http://www.nicholas.robinson.name/posters.html">posters</a>. All their brochures, all their business cards, all their <a href="http://www.nicholas.robinson.name/logos.html">logos</a>, all their <a href="http://www.nicholas.robinson.name/calendars.html">calendars</a>. And finally, I singlehandedly designed <a href="http://www.nicholas.robinson.name/websubs/acsite.html">Air Canada Cargo's first-ever website</a>.<br />
<br />
All out of my home, in my slippered feet, with a beer or a coffee at hand, day or night, day in, day out, for five glorious years. And I raked it in. They had dumped the ad agency they had been dealing with before me in disgust, and I had somehow stumbled onto the job because a friend was the son of one of the top managers there.<br />
<br />
It was a great partnership—I dealt with a tiny group of Air Canada Cargo people and they told me roughly what they wanted and I made it happen.<br />
<br />
I was having the time of my life, making more money than I'd ever seen before, looking forward to a rosy, $$$-filled future.<br />
<br />
And then Osama Bin Laden brought it all crashing down.<br />
<br />
Air Canada's recent run of profitability—one could say profligate profitability, since they seemed not to care too much whether I charged $8,762 for a calendar or $12,987—ceased right then and there on September 11, 2001.<br />
<br />
The towers fell on Tuesday, and I was out of a job by Friday. "You understand," my boss said regretfully, "there's no way we can continue to spend like this now. We're going to bring all this in-house."<br />
<br />
So what was the problem? Get another job!<br />
<br />
Not so fast! During the time I had spent with Air Canada I has scrupulously avoided moonlighting—I hadn't wanted anything to get in the way of The Job. I didn't even want rumors of my having other interests to reach their ears—I <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20061113222620/http://www.montrealfood.com/sept2001.html">created montrealfood.com</a> in complete secrecy while I was working for them.<br />
<br />
So my job diversity had been limited to one, and now that was gone.<br />
<br />
And what, you might ask, does that have to do with my microbiome? Diversity, diversity, diversity.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.listener.co.nz/lifestyle/nutrition/risks-food-group-diet/">This article points out,</a> rightfully, the perils of removing whole categories of foods from your repertoire.<br />
<br />
Remove gluten, for example, and the bacteria that prefer gluten—<i>bifidobacter</i>, for example—might diminish and let other bacteria, say, <i>prevotella</i>, move in.<br />
<br />
Since the jury is still lunching at McDonald's about all of this, we have <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3023594/">no idea what a gluten-deficient diet will actually do to your microbiome</a>, especially if your normal state has always been glutenous.<br />
<br />
It's been reconized that a healthy microbiome is a diverse microbiome, and that makes sense. In lean times, when a particular food, say, sugar, was off the menu for the hunter-gatherer dudes that the Paleo Diet so wants to emulate, the diversity of their repertoire swallowed the gap quickly and with little overall effect. When the honey suddenly became available again, the population adjusted quickly, as a smaller segment had to be moved around; the prevotellas didn't particularly mind being reduced from 1.75 trillion to 1.24 trillion.<br />
<br />
And one notable characteristic of the Western diet compared to more primitive diets like the <a href="http://www.wired.com/2014/04/hadza-hunter-gatherer-gut-microbiome/">Hadza tribe</a>, is a severely curtailed repertoire of bacterial diversity.<br />
<br />
So if your microbiome's diversity is small to begin with, as is the case with most of our western diets, then the removal of a whole food group—gluten, say, or fats—will have far more signifcant consequences on the population as a whole.<br />
<br />
Looking back now, I was a fool to put all my cards into the Air Canada pot. I had nothing to fall back on, and no alternatives waiting in the wings. It would take years for me to regain my earnings levels—years that continue to this day.<br />
<br />
The lesson I learned, in work as well as diet, is keep a lot of options open. The more cards you have on the table at a time, the less you're going to miss it when a few—or all—are removed from the equation.ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-38302423908851814932016-06-30T17:48:00.002-07:002016-06-30T18:00:00.707-07:00Results!<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arvo";"><b><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #073763; color: #7f6000;"> </span><span style="background-color: #0b5394;"> </span><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;">F</span></span><span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></i></b></span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"> inally, my results have come back from uBiome.</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="http://www.montrealfood.com/results.jpg">Click here to open the basic first screen</a> of my results (in the new window, click on the image to magnify it).</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3rPwIaWukEQpmPulut6uX0btyNaJ2A7J5km2gTCwLl5WmStjlpW49yQYlBFgXUD77zPzE_vxtfBg1Af5iLIca7KqeMXK19wIacSTOJqBcOzjAPGNUR50FYxEWKB9J3TYJcZte2B0uQDk/s1600/results1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3rPwIaWukEQpmPulut6uX0btyNaJ2A7J5km2gTCwLl5WmStjlpW49yQYlBFgXUD77zPzE_vxtfBg1Af5iLIca7KqeMXK19wIacSTOJqBcOzjAPGNUR50FYxEWKB9J3TYJcZte2B0uQDk/s640/results1.jpg" width="640" /></a></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="text-align: start;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="text-align: start;">I haven't had time to analyze it all quite yet, but from what I can see, </span>it's all completely unexpected.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
One reassuring result is that I'm in the top ten percent of "healthy" human beings . . . that is reassuring to know (you will recall that this sample was taken after two weeks of eating my "normal" diet, before I started cutting my fats, sugars and carbs and adding pre- and probiotics).</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Someone more qualified than I is taking a look at the results and will be back to me shortly.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I'll keep you posted!</div>
ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-22943543694419077102016-06-26T10:08:00.001-07:002016-06-26T10:09:51.639-07:00Plus Ça Change<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwoGK1HNTwEtZ7PJP_PE2rvMBUeQiP-A9o32A8j4iL7buAHw6FMp34dib6BtBm4XvGbskF8vlqMDqhG1hhFUYIqPM5ahq7bk-NW-Sz6lz_qGihjkrk8BPOm2q_PrICBbYhw5av8Kvip5s/s1600/doctornick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwoGK1HNTwEtZ7PJP_PE2rvMBUeQiP-A9o32A8j4iL7buAHw6FMp34dib6BtBm4XvGbskF8vlqMDqhG1hhFUYIqPM5ahq7bk-NW-Sz6lz_qGihjkrk8BPOm2q_PrICBbYhw5av8Kvip5s/s400/doctornick.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Docteur Neeque: at the frontiers of medication</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="color: white; font-size: x-large;"><b><i style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #4c1130; color: #7f6000;"> </span><span style="background-color: #741b47; color: white;"> </span><span style="background-color: #a64d79; color: white;">I</span></span><span style="color: white;"><span style="background-color: #c27ba0; color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></i></b></span><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i><b style="background-color: #d5a6bd;"> </b></i></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span>n case you don't speak French, that means "Plus <i>that</i> change," which is referring to the extra coins in your pocket in addition to the coins you've been using to feed the parking meter.<br />
<br />
All Froggy lessons aside, it has come time to examine where I am in the Grand Biome Experiment of 2016.<br />
<br />
Where, indeed!<br />
<br />
You will recall the following:<br />
<br />
I spent two weeks eating my normal diet.<br />
<br />
I took a sample and sent it in to be analyzed by uBiome.<br />
<br />
I spent a week consuming no meat, gluten, dairy, sugar, and pretty much everything else that Makes America Great. This was the longest week since weeks have been recorded—since the third week of Hatshepsut IIV, 5976 B.C. (="Before Coke")<br />
<br />
This phase was called, in case you have forgotten, "Phase II."<br />
<br />
At the end of this phase, I remarked upon the seemingly dramatic remission of my psoriasis.<br />
<br />
During the fourth week, confusingly called Phase III, I began introducing pre- and probiotics (in the forms of <a href="https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B00772DYRA/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o09_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1">pills</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B00I6JVZXS/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1">powders</a> and <a href="http://www.saugeencountrydairy.com/kefir.html">elixirs</a>) began a daily <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtat1R6AEO2lea-V3BIhG5qcVO4kazG3HVgRsro9hL0KFuU3dARK3Xodkg1sXjfj8-q0HyX4i8ZvHO3hBYX98QSBUejXJP9aoOtrNaYvd4VpyeInegsW64RrQm5EGExCrslB9Q5rRUu5g/s1600/vitamins.jpg">vitamin regimen</a> and cautiously reintroduced my old diet (minus a few questionable items such as the <i>Doritos Mammoth-pak Chipstravaganza</i>), with the sole exception of one item per week absent; the first week, for example, I did not reintroduce dairy, the second, I removed gluten etc. in a bid to see which, if any, had impacted my psoriasis.<br />
<br />
In case you have not been counting, we are now at the first day of Week 8; on this day, seven weeks ago, the entire experiment commenced.<br />
<br />
So what is my conclusion at the end of all this?<br />
<br />
Well, there are several.<br />
<br />
The first one that I came to was that starting from scratch with a diet based on exclusion—no meat/wheat/dairy or sugar was not doable, at least where these products are sold. However, it was never my point to eliminate any of these foods from my diet permanently; my goal was merely to clear them from my system in order to allow the next phase of the experiment to proceed relatively uncontaminated.<br />
<br />
One major disappointment from this phase of the trial was the lack of actual perceivable differences from the regular experiences of my hitherto day-to-day existence.<br />
<br />
I did not suddenly have seven times more energy, sleep twice as long, or remember all the lyrics to "One More For The Road." I could not suddenly play the guitar faster, I did not have amazing, colourful, flower-filled dreams. I did not lose ten pounds in two weeks—it was more like ten <i>days </i>(but that was not one of my goals, either).<br />
<br />
On the other hand, <i>no memorably ill effects resulted whatsoever </i>during that period. I felt, for the most part, perfectly fine. My energy levels were very good. I slept fairly well; that is to say, with no unusual insomniacal episodes.<br />
<br />
I had no gastric adventures whatsoever, apart from some mild constipation. No bloating, gas, reflux . . . well, 'nuff said <i>there</i>.<br />
<br />
But now, while not exactly the bad news, the <i>unexpected</i> news: after my initial, amazed perception that my psoriasis had been going away, I discovered that it certainly had not been. It had merely retreated, in one of its timeless cycles of boom and bust.<br />
<br />
Thinking that it might have been the reintroduction of one or the other things I had removed, I again took out dairy for a week and then gluten for another week; yet the psoriasis came back <i>with a vengeance</i>.<br />
<br />
I'm disappointed, but not discouraged. The goal of this entire project really had no aims to remove my psoriasis; if it had happened, great, but that was not the point. I will have to do some other, more specific experiments to deal with that.<br />
<br />
The point of the project was to see what was going on with my gut biome, to see if it could be altered for the better, and indeed, if my overall health could be improved in a noticeable way.<br />
<br />
Well, I will say that one of the most important takeaways from all this has been that it <i>can be done</i>.<br />
<br />
It can not only be done, but it does not have to be an ordeal; you can improve your diet ten-fold and still not feel like a granola-crunching spirulina-vegan tree-hugging homeopsychopath.<br />
<br />
No; one of the most important things this whole experiment has taught me is <i>to be mindful of the things that I put in my body</i>.<br />
<br />
What goes in today may not matter very much today; indeed, in the larger scheme of things, it does not.<br />
<br />
But we are not merely solitary human beings going about our solitary business, eating our solitary meals and at the end of the day, left with our solitary selves.<br />
<br />
We are accumulations, as we have seen, of trillions upon trillions of constantly interacting tiny organisms that are entirely dependent upon our "solitary" decisions upon what to feed and what not to feed them, in order that they may work to make us function at the top of our games, for, without us, they do not exist either.<br />
<br />
Everything we do has consequences; today's Happy Meal becomes tomorrow's pound of ugly, yellow, greasy adipose tissue, oozing its inflammatory toxins into the river in which all of our organisms must swim; polluting the very powerhouses that enable us to digest, to breathe, to feel, <i><b>to think</b></i>, and to <i><b>be healthy</b></i>.<br />
<br />
Out of sight, out of mind, but <i>not out of body</i>.<br />
<br />
That Diet Coke, that Dino-Pak theater popcorn serving with extra fake butter/polysorbate 60/FDC Red #5/guar gum, that packet of Splenda in your Lipton Iced Tea mix . . . perhaps not today, not even tomorrow, not even next year, but ten years down the line, when all the good guys have folded up their tents and gone home in disgust, that's when all this crap will be sitting up, taking a look around, and declaring the All Clear.<br />
<br />
I hate to bring up that new buzzword of the day, "mindful," but I have learned, if anything, to be mindful of every single thing, big or small, that I consume, every single hour of every single day.<br />
<br />
I never eat something I know to be unhealthy without pausing, asking myself if I really want to do what I am doing, or otherwise <i>thinking</i> about it, and that is something that I tended never to do before.<br />
<br />
But perhaps most eye-opening of all is the realization that this project is not over. In fact, it has <i>barely just begun</i>.<br />
<br />
I will keep on experimenting, being mindful, tinkering with this mix and that mix, and keep reporting back from The Biome.<br />
<br />
Phases I-IV are over. But I have no even received back even one of my Biome samples, so when I do . . . get ready for <i>Phase V—the Reckoning</i>.ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-20636774394624455542016-06-17T15:12:00.002-07:002016-06-26T09:47:30.756-07:00Biomechanic Calling: My Strawberriness be Upon You<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQZL3J3ALGa9dNRV2rHPyW_gbNilAS-fS2vfKEkTVtuE1Z_ENxxubtQijz1_EUD0o-sMDHuenq9ClbThYsBj3VULMgX-3ZNi4gMXuMiAVrn8x0eDL1RfmHipfJRTe0Ro_f6JQdIJQZA8w/s1600/strawberries.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQZL3J3ALGa9dNRV2rHPyW_gbNilAS-fS2vfKEkTVtuE1Z_ENxxubtQijz1_EUD0o-sMDHuenq9ClbThYsBj3VULMgX-3ZNi4gMXuMiAVrn8x0eDL1RfmHipfJRTe0Ro_f6JQdIJQZA8w/s640/strawberries.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="color: white; font-size: x-large;"><b><i style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #4c1130; color: #7f6000;"> </span><span style="background-color: #741b47; color: white;"> </span><span style="background-color: #a64d79; color: white;">I</span></span><span style="color: white;"><span style="background-color: #c27ba0; color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></i></b></span><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i><b style="background-color: #d5a6bd;"> </b></i></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span>s there anybody out there?<br />
<br />
Here, it's just Biomechanic and my quintillion pals, <a href="http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/blogs/physics/2014/05/what-are-gravitons/">parsing the gravitons</a> and hunting and gathering amidst the microbial mangroves.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/094078081X/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1">I bought this.</a><br />
<br />
It's a start—I may yet make it to medical school. Or rather, my quintillion pals might make it to medical school (on a gurney).<br />
<br />
Honestly, graduating from med school—probably McGill—I'd be about 65 years old and raring to become a resident in some <a href="http://www.nunavut-physicians.gov.nu.ca/">country clinic in Nunavut.</a> Better brush up on my <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cree_language">Cree</a>! I don't think my Japanese will come in handy up there, どう思いますか?<br />
<br />
The quintillions are restless.<br />
<br />
I've been sticking to my regimen of <a href="https://www.prebiotin.com/product/prebiotic-fiber/">prebiotics</a> and <a href="https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B00772DYRA/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o06_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1">probiotics</a> and vitamins<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtat1R6AEO2lea-V3BIhG5qcVO4kazG3HVgRsro9hL0KFuU3dARK3Xodkg1sXjfj8-q0HyX4i8ZvHO3hBYX98QSBUejXJP9aoOtrNaYvd4VpyeInegsW64RrQm5EGExCrslB9Q5rRUu5g/s1600/vitamins.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtat1R6AEO2lea-V3BIhG5qcVO4kazG3HVgRsro9hL0KFuU3dARK3Xodkg1sXjfj8-q0HyX4i8ZvHO3hBYX98QSBUejXJP9aoOtrNaYvd4VpyeInegsW64RrQm5EGExCrslB9Q5rRUu5g/s400/vitamins.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;"><i>The vitamin-mineral regimen started on Day One, Phase 2</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
every day. I haven't skipped a single day of feeding the Quintillions, but I can't say as how they're exactly happy.<br />
<br />
Because I quit gluten last Sunday.<br />
<br />
Yep—just wiped it out. Not a molecule of whole wheat, cracked wheat, whole grain, rolled grain, fried grain or boiled grain has passed my lips.<br />
<br />
So my convenient pita dinners—<span style="color: #6aa84f;"><b>*poof.*</b></span> My convenient pita chips and salsa: <span style="color: purple;"><i>*shazam.*</i></span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><i><br /></i></span>
I've been scrambling to adjust.<br />
<br />
It's just another Nixperiment—by now you'll know what that means—and it's gonna take time. Time to establish whether or not it's gluten that's exacerbating my psoriasis or not.<br />
<br />
You might recall that on May29th or so I went cautiously back to my old diet, but with the twist of adding the prebiotics, probiotics, vitamins and keeping down the sugar to fruit/honey only, but allowing both dairy (kefir, 2% goat's milk—for no other reason than it's goat's milk and that sounds cool) and gluten (aforesaid whole wheat pita snacks, whole wheat pita dinners) but shortly thereafter <i>the <span style="background-color: #990000; color: yellow;">psoriasis exploded</span></i><span style="background-color: #990000; color: yellow;">.</span><br />
<br />
So for one week after, I quit the dairy, except for the kefir (which I have with the Prebiotin and Baobab powder in the mornings with my vitamins)(stop laughing, you hounds!) and . . . the psoriasis did <span style="color: red;">NOT </span>go away.<br />
<br />
It just got worse. Fingers bad, spreading to my face—very bad.<br />
<br />
So The Quintillions had spoken. <span style="color: blue; font-size: x-large;">*</span><span style="color: purple;"><i>D</i><span style="font-size: large; font-style: italic;">i</span></span><i><span style="color: purple;">T</span>c</i><b style="font-style: italic;"><span style="color: #990000;">h</span></b><i><span style="color: #990000;"> the</span> </i><span style="color: #783f04;"><span style="font-size: x-large; font-style: italic;">g</span><i>lu</i></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-style: italic;"><b><u>t</u></b></span><i>en, <span style="color: red;">du</span></i><span style="color: red; font-size: x-small;"><b>d</b></span><i><span style="color: red;">e</span><span style="color: blue;">, </span></i><span style="font-size: large;"><b><u><span style="color: blue;">that'</span>s</u></b></span><i> w<span style="color: #6aa84f;">hat <b><span style="font-size: x-large;">e</span></b></span>very<span style="color: #c27ba0;">one</span><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">*</span><b><u><span style="color: #c27ba0;">el</span>se</u></b> is do<span style="font-size: large;"><u><span style="color: #cc0000;">ing!</span><span style="color: blue;">*</span></u></span></i><br />
<br />
(You have to speak Quintillion like I do—just think of a quintillion voices all saying the same thing in a trillion different languages and you're making progress. My translation above is the best I can do; sorry.)<br />
<br />
How's it going?<br />
<br />
Very badly. I can't seem to find a replacement for the pitas.<br />
<br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">It must be easy to make, satisfying to eat, repeatable without boredom, not be overly messy or create too many dishes or require many steps (microwave, sauté pan, toaster oven) and still be able to be relatively long-lived when stored in the refrigerator.</span></i><br />
<br />
See the conundrum? I'm not out to make a dinner for today, or even tomorrow. I'm out to make a dinner that I can make again and again without fear of what I'm doing to my body—too much salt/sugar/fat/acid/blahblahblah and I have not even come close to finding anything that fits the bill.<br />
<br />
I tell you, I had it in the pita thingie—it fit all the parameters—<i>except for the fucking gluten in the pita</i>.<br />
<br />
I tried corn tortillas; horrible. Too fucking small, they break apart very quickly with anything hot and you end up with a mess in your bowl that you have to eat with a fork.<br />
<br />
I know, I know. My nickname is Chef<i><b><span style="color: red;">Fucking</span></b></i>Nick. I'm supposed to be able to whip up creations in a zippy. But YOU try no gluten. It's impossible!<br />
<br />
Still, I have to stick it out. Maybe . . . two weeks? Just to see if the psoriasis stays or goes.<br />
<br />
I can see the Quintillion, making <i>'markable analyzations</i> in The Trial of The Millennium . . . does the glove fit? <i>If not, you must acquit!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
My go-to saviour has become the strawberry. I put them on everything except dinner. I put them in my water, on my gluten-free crackers, I put them <i>where the sun don't shine</i>.<br />
<br />
Strawberries to salve the anxieties of The Quintillion, strawberries to soothe their hundred billion little souls so they can live out their frantically brief existences in relative Strawberriness . . .<br />
<br />
StrawberryWorld has become their universe!<br />
<br />
I monitor Brigitte and try to bless her quintillions with my Strawberriness, and it seems to be working.<br />
<br />
I did my second sample and will send it in presently. <a href="mailto:jennifer@ubiome.com">Jennifer of uBiome</a><span id="goog_1070881731"></span><span id="goog_1070881732"></span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/"></a> has extremely graciously offered me the <a href="http://ubiome.com/products/ubiome-five-site?variant=430064017">extraordinary deal of five (5) tests that normally cost $399</a> for <b><i><span style="color: #cc0000;">only $89</span></i></b>.<br />
<br />
This is an incredible opportunity to see just what is going on with The Quintillion; it's possibly more valuable than an MRI. CT scan, X-Ray, biopsy and colonoscopy ALL ROLLED INTO ONE PAINLESS TEST.<br />
<br />
All you need to do is <a href="mailto:jennifer@ubiome.com">email Jennifer</a>, mention me and if her Quintillions are in StrawberryWorld, she might just <span style="color: red;"><b>*adjust*</b></span> your tests to be all gut tests (instead of skin, oral and so on) if your Quintillion asks her Quintillion <i><b>nicely</b></i>.<br />
<br />
<br />
Meaning, just mention me and Wizardess Jennifer will wave her wand and change your order for you . . . if she's been Biomechanicking nicely and she's in a good mood.<br />
<br />
That's where it stands.<br />
<br />
Tests are boring. Tests are long. Tests are stressful and results are always . . . <i>soon</i>.<br />
<br />
But I must be patient; not <i>become</i> a patient; maintain my Strawberriness for <i>at least one more week</i>, and the gavel will come down in the <a href="https://youtu.be/eHJ7An2CMB4">Court of the Quintillion King</a> and judgment will be passed.<br />
<br />
Gluten or no gluten?<br />
<br />
I breathlessly await.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLG_n3NoYLZ1p-UEwLcWCp8d3OTVQ6vwHB6Tt6IvQAhtIGH_yOh7DilCmbXCvL11nFdDaDFAyIYVF1BpglqlefWwwNBuxFYnxHPmok0UqqiJ5V_LAxFYE6Lb1fXVLSj7cupino6Bp7yKA/s1600/offset_286031.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="282" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLG_n3NoYLZ1p-UEwLcWCp8d3OTVQ6vwHB6Tt6IvQAhtIGH_yOh7DilCmbXCvL11nFdDaDFAyIYVF1BpglqlefWwwNBuxFYnxHPmok0UqqiJ5V_LAxFYE6Lb1fXVLSj7cupino6Bp7yKA/s400/offset_286031.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
I bless your Quintillion with my Strawberriness.ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-91978507755412971212016-06-07T22:48:00.001-07:002016-06-08T14:42:29.170-07:00Weeks 1-5: The Sequel<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arvo";"><b><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #0b5394; color: #7f6000;"> </span><span style="background-color: #45818e;"> </span><span style="background-color: #9fc5e8;">T</span></span><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></i></b></span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"> </span>his is a chart of the five weeks I was documenting this experiment. The first two are me on my normal diet. The third is my "Week of deprivation": no wheat, no dairy, no sugar. The last two weeks are my per/probiotic rebuilding (limited, structured wheat/dairy/sugar).</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTo9myChTQ2-6iMo5vvE_bL3sXloH5vuKvfAbGrtG1Vk6pxxyAZ63C59MkOb-M_9xuIs7Z3QtDf5w17o0GxVW4ZHAiZtVMdNLaO4fgj5EEj3gKjLTnTtYFUGt-F8Blmg1EgdtJSBNHSl0/s1600/weeks+1-5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="128" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTo9myChTQ2-6iMo5vvE_bL3sXloH5vuKvfAbGrtG1Vk6pxxyAZ63C59MkOb-M_9xuIs7Z3QtDf5w17o0GxVW4ZHAiZtVMdNLaO4fgj5EEj3gKjLTnTtYFUGt-F8Blmg1EgdtJSBNHSl0/s640/weeks+1-5.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Right-click image to open in new window (fine print still will not be legible)</i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><a href="http://www.montrealfood.com/weeks1-5.pdf">Right-click this link to download the PDF of this image</a> </i><i>(fine print will be legible)</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Notes: The light blue blocks are sleep. The light green blocks are naps.</div>
ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-79710135381498758262016-05-31T12:02:00.005-07:002016-05-31T12:11:13.423-07:00The Great Learning of 2016: Part 2: Do I, Or Don't I?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2MNPs-hb1S8W02Ic0QpPE6x-bW8Oz1uKcKFUWZmlsThOTp1riHFmtMfZKdcK52ZW5bAkxQLB8GH9QwSsoNn5RQxYqgMvFwucL0_0frtqyC39telRfCn9S0NEmrRgejAD_gHi_y_o1aGw/s1600/o-RUSSIAN-ROULETTE-facebook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2MNPs-hb1S8W02Ic0QpPE6x-bW8Oz1uKcKFUWZmlsThOTp1riHFmtMfZKdcK52ZW5bAkxQLB8GH9QwSsoNn5RQxYqgMvFwucL0_0frtqyC39telRfCn9S0NEmrRgejAD_gHi_y_o1aGw/s400/o-RUSSIAN-ROULETTE-facebook.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="color: white; font-size: x-large;"><b><i style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #274e13; color: #7f6000;"> </span><span style="background-color: #38761d; color: white;"> </span><span style="background-color: #6aa84f; color: white;">Y</span></span><span style="color: white;"><span style="background-color: #93c47d; color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></i></b></span><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i><b style="background-color: #b6d7a8;"> </b></i></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span>ou come to a point in your life—you'll know it when it happens—where you basically have a decision to make. Do I want to live to be 90? Or do I just want to resign myself to just let Nature takes its course, get the usual diseases like heart problems or diabetes or COPD or, gods forbid, The Big C?<br />
<br />
It's basically at that point where you either change your ways, or you don't. There really are only the two choices, but you have to make them <i>now</i>; you can't wait until those diseases have actually gotten you in a stranglehold, because there will be a point where nothing you belatedly do matters any more—it won't work because <i>it's too late</i>.<br />
<br />
The hospital bed is <i>too late</i>.<br />
<br />
Look at us. We're actually the first generation of human beings who've lived most of our lives with the Western Diet: in 1940 there were no McDonald's, there was no Swanson Frozen Dinners—hell, there were hardly any freezers!<br />
<br />
In 1963 there were no M&Ms or Lay's BBQ potato chips or Häagen-Dazs Country Road or Denny's Double Bacon 'n' Beef or Maison India or salads in a bag. There was <i>no instant ramen</i>, for fuck's sake.<br />
<br />
There were no discussions about obesity in America or hypoglycaemia except by obscure physicians running obscure clinical trials for soon-to-be <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://www.edelman.com/post/multinational-beverage-corporation-global-corporate-reputation/"><span style="color: #0b0080;"><span style="line-height: 22px;">multinational</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; line-height: 22px;"> </span><span style="color: #0b0080;"><span style="line-height: 22px;">beverage corporation</span></span>s.</a></span><br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/remember-when-corn-pops-were-called-sugar-pops-the-good-old-days/2016/02/14/85f79a42-d002-11e5-b2bc-988409ee911b_story.html">Sugar was good</a>. <a href="https://youtu.be/bnKLpO9qhOE">Smoking was better</a>. Mad Men was real; have three martinis at lunch and watch <a href="https://youtu.be/cgF1fzCqu-k">Richard Burton slur his words</a> hilariously on the Jack Paar Show.<br />
<br />
We—you me, and pretty much everyone who was born before 1980—have been guinea pigs in the <a href="http://discovermagazine.com/1987/may/02-the-worst-mistake-in-the-history-of-the-human-race">greatest diet experiment in the history of human civilization</a>, and the results are just coming in.<br />
<br />
They're not good.<br />
<br />
The chemicals that preserve, enhance, brighten, stiffen, soften and fatten have now been in the dietary food chain for nigh-on half a century. These are chemicals that our gut microbes have never encountered, have no strategies to deal with and are basically completely defenseless against.<br />
<br />
But there's more: exotic mixtures of bizarre concoctions of sugars and starches, like <a href="http://nutritiondata.self.com/facts/foods-from-krispy-kreme/6712/2">Krispy Kreme</a> or Eskimo Pie that are held together with emulsifiers, flavor enhancers and coloring agents.<br />
<br />
We've been raised to think so many different ways about food: fat is bad. Fat is good. Eat your pasta. Pasta kills. Sugar's bad, sugar isn't bad, it's calories that are bad.<br />
<br />
We swallow all this bullshit whole and choose Diet Coke instead or regular Coke, thinking somehow that that's healthy.<br />
<br />
Think about that for a second: <i>there are actually people who drink Diet Coke instead of regular Coke and they think they're being healthy</i>.<br />
<br />
Human beings were never designed to drink ANY Coke and it's only in the last half century that Coca-Cola has become the most recognized two words in the planet after "OK."<br />
<br />
<i><a href="http://www.lexiophiles.com/english/the-most-recognized-word-in-the-world">Coca-Cola is the most recognized two words on the planet after OK.</a></i><br />
<br />
I know, I know: so the fuck what?<br />
<br />
Well, consider your microbiome.<br />
<br />
Consider the utter confusion that reigns inside your digestive system, day in, day out, as you feed it with <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/cold-stone-shake-worst-drink-america-equal-eating-68-pieces-bacon-study-article-1.447768">bizarre food after bizarre food</a>, shovelling in sugars and lard and chemicals that completely overwhelm any semblance of a healthy ecosystem—just like clear-cutting your digestive tract and planting vast fields of corn and palm oil trees, then burning down the rest of it to build condos and amusement parks.<br />
<br />
You know deep inside yourself that <i><b>all this is not going to end well</b></i>.<br />
<br />
Okay okay, you get it, you get it, but what are you gonna do about it?<br />
<br />
You're at a crossroads.<br />
<br />
Like I told you, you have the decision: <i>do I want to live till I'm 90, or do I just say Fuck it, I'll take my chances and keep eating and drinking the stuff I've always eaten and always loved.</i><br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: CoconOT-Light; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;">
<span lang="FR" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "times"; orphans: auto; widows: auto;">It's up to you. Are you going to put that bullet in the gun and spin the chamber, or are you going to put the gun away in a place no one will ever find it and forget it ever existed?</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: CoconOT-Light; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;">
<span lang="FR" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
I just received an email from a good friend who's been following this project. Here's what he says:<br />
<br />
<a href="https://translate.google.com/#fr/en/Je%20remarque%20que%20dans%20les%20derni%C3%A8res%20semaines%2C%20tu%20as%20%C3%A9norm%C3%A9ment%20travaill%C3%A9%20sur%20ton%20corps%20et%20%C3%A7a%20semble%20donner%20d'excellents%20r%C3%A9sultats%2C%20et%20que%20ta%20sant%C3%A9%20s'am%C3%A9liore.%20Tu%20devrais%20penser%20t'ouvrir%20une%20%C3%A9cole%20de%20sant%C3%A9%2C%20avec%20participants%20%22s%C3%A9rieux%22%20seulement%20!%20%20%0A%20%0AJ'ai%20toujours%20trouv%C3%A9%20bizarre%20que%20les%20gens%2C%20en%20g%C3%A9n%C3%A9ral%2C%20n'h%C3%A9sitent%20pas%20%C3%A0%20d%C3%A9penser%20de%20grosses%20sommes%20et%20beaucoup%20de%20temps%20pour%20s'occuper%20de%20leur%20voiture.%20Mais%20quand%20c'est%20pour%20leur%20corps%20et%20sant%C3%A9%2C%20ils%20sont%20h%C3%A9sitants%20%C3%A0%20prendre%20du%20temps%20et%20%C3%A0%20d%C3%A9penser...%20%C3%87a%20n'a%20pas%20de%20sens%20!"><i>Je remarque que dans les dernières semaines, tu as énormément travaillé sur ton corps et ça semble donner d'excellents résultats, et que ta santé s'améliore. Tu devrais penser t'ouvrir une école de santé, avec participants "sérieux" seulement ! </i></a><br />
<a href="https://translate.google.com/#fr/en/Je%20remarque%20que%20dans%20les%20derni%C3%A8res%20semaines%2C%20tu%20as%20%C3%A9norm%C3%A9ment%20travaill%C3%A9%20sur%20ton%20corps%20et%20%C3%A7a%20semble%20donner%20d'excellents%20r%C3%A9sultats%2C%20et%20que%20ta%20sant%C3%A9%20s'am%C3%A9liore.%20Tu%20devrais%20penser%20t'ouvrir%20une%20%C3%A9cole%20de%20sant%C3%A9%2C%20avec%20participants%20%22s%C3%A9rieux%22%20seulement%20!%20%20%0A%20%0AJ'ai%20toujours%20trouv%C3%A9%20bizarre%20que%20les%20gens%2C%20en%20g%C3%A9n%C3%A9ral%2C%20n'h%C3%A9sitent%20pas%20%C3%A0%20d%C3%A9penser%20de%20grosses%20sommes%20et%20beaucoup%20de%20temps%20pour%20s'occuper%20de%20leur%20voiture.%20Mais%20quand%20c'est%20pour%20leur%20corps%20et%20sant%C3%A9%2C%20ils%20sont%20h%C3%A9sitants%20%C3%A0%20prendre%20du%20temps%20et%20%C3%A0%20d%C3%A9penser...%20%C3%87a%20n'a%20pas%20de%20sens%20!"><i><br /></i></a>
<a href="https://translate.google.com/#fr/en/Je%20remarque%20que%20dans%20les%20derni%C3%A8res%20semaines%2C%20tu%20as%20%C3%A9norm%C3%A9ment%20travaill%C3%A9%20sur%20ton%20corps%20et%20%C3%A7a%20semble%20donner%20d'excellents%20r%C3%A9sultats%2C%20et%20que%20ta%20sant%C3%A9%20s'am%C3%A9liore.%20Tu%20devrais%20penser%20t'ouvrir%20une%20%C3%A9cole%20de%20sant%C3%A9%2C%20avec%20participants%20%22s%C3%A9rieux%22%20seulement%20!%20%20%0A%20%0AJ'ai%20toujours%20trouv%C3%A9%20bizarre%20que%20les%20gens%2C%20en%20g%C3%A9n%C3%A9ral%2C%20n'h%C3%A9sitent%20pas%20%C3%A0%20d%C3%A9penser%20de%20grosses%20sommes%20et%20beaucoup%20de%20temps%20pour%20s'occuper%20de%20leur%20voiture.%20Mais%20quand%20c'est%20pour%20leur%20corps%20et%20sant%C3%A9%2C%20ils%20sont%20h%C3%A9sitants%20%C3%A0%20prendre%20du%20temps%20et%20%C3%A0%20d%C3%A9penser...%20%C3%87a%20n'a%20pas%20de%20sens%20!"><i>J'ai toujours trouvé bizarre que les gens, en général, n'hésitent pas à dépenser de grosses sommes et beaucoup de temps pour s'occuper de leur voiture. Mais quand c'est pour leur corps et santé, ils sont hésitants à prendre du temps et à dépenser... Ça n'a pas de sens !</i></a><br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: CoconOT-Light; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;">
<span lang="FR" style="font-family: inherit;"></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: CoconOT-Light; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;">
<span lang="FR" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: inherit; orphans: auto; widows: auto;">Thanks for that, Mario.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: CoconOT-Light; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;">
<span lang="FR" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: inherit; orphans: auto; widows: auto;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: CoconOT-Light; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;">
<span lang="FR" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "times"; orphans: auto; widows: auto;"><b><span style="color: #990000; font-family: inherit;">NEXT TIME: <i>Getting Your Shit Together</i></span></b></span></span></div>
ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-66613281618301771182016-05-29T17:42:00.002-07:002016-06-17T23:51:57.791-07:00The Great Learning of 2016: Part I<span style="color: white; font-size: x-large;"><b><i style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #4c1130; color: #7f6000;"> </span><span style="background-color: #741b47; color: white;"> </span><span style="background-color: #a64d79; color: white;">T</span></span><span style="color: white;"><span style="background-color: #c27ba0; color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></i></b></span><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i><b style="background-color: #d5a6bd;"> </b></i></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span>his past thirty days has taught me a lot—I told you from the outset that I was doing this so you didn't have to—so now you can just pass Go and go straight to the Gold.
<br />
So what is my advice to you? What are the conclusions that I have come to after cogitating 200% every single day of the past thirty days—recording, I'll remind you, every single relevant thing that happened to my body: what I ate, when I ate it, what I drank. My blood sugar levels, sometimes six times a day, how I napped and how I slept.<br />
<br />
<b>I made charts of every single day</b>; I will post them on this blog in due course, in addition to the test results from <a href="http://ubiome.com/pages/buynow">uBiome</a> and my blood tests.<br />
<br />
If you have the logical mind and the discerning eye, you might be able to make sense of the patterns on my charts, especially the hours that I slept and the duration of the sleep, because I regard the quality of sleep to be the defining marker of your overall health. (After all, if your sleep is fucked up, *<i>you</i>* are liable to be fucked up. It is, after all, a third of your healthy lifetime, and, I think, a kind of <a href="http://home.cern/about/physics/dark-matter">dark matter </a>to your life: unseen, unappreciated, but absolutely crucial to existence.)<br />
<br />
I didn't record my exercise, but that's because it should be such an innate part of your lifestyle, like sleep, that you should somehow work it into your daily existence and *<i>leave it there.</i>* Don't think of it as a drag that your "diet doctor" is admonishing you to do; think of it as . . . well, all that in a minute.<br />
<br />
So here goes. Here is the Wisdom that I will impart from the "Great Learning of 2016."<br />
<br />
Be Smart.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #990000;"><b>EDUCATE YOURSELF</b>. </span>The Internet is the <a href="https://www.evlio.com/the-amount-of-information-on-the-internet-is-staggering/">biggest library every created</a>. At your fingertips is almost <a href="http://www.industrytap.com/knowledge-doubling-every-12-months-soon-to-be-every-12-hours/3950">every speck of human knowledge ever accumulated</a>. Want to know what Louis XIV ate for breakfast? <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/7037298/A-banquet-for-Louis-XIV-recreated-at-the-Palace-of-Versailles.html">No problem.</a> (Beef madrilène with gold leaf spangles?!)<br />
<br />
Avoid <a href="http://www.quackwatch.com/">obviously spurious websites</a>. There are a LOT of people out there <a href="http://www.thinktwice.com/">spouting nonsense that almost sounds credible</a>. These people work hard to spread their dangerous gibberish-ideas that are often based on <a href="http://www.ornery.org/essays/warwatch/2004-04-11-1.html">conspiracy theories</a> and other typical lunatic-fringe hysteria.<br />
<br />
You will learn to spot these places; usually, but not always, <a href="https://biomemechanic.blogspot.ca/2016/04/the-scum-floats-to-top.html">they will be flogging some book or "system" that will be based on science</a>, but then will veer wildly into <a href="http://www.drdavidwilliams.com/about-dr-williams/">nonsense territory</a>, the better to differentiate themselves from the other charlatans who infest the cybersphere like <a href="http://www.hungrypests.com/the-threat/emerald-ash-borer.php">Emerald Ash Borers</a>.<br />
<br />
Avoid obvious pseudo-science hucksters who call themselves anything like "<a href="http://www.spine-health.com/treatment/chiropractic/what-a-chiropractor">Chiropractor</a>" "<a href="http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/expert-answers/what-is-reflexology/faq-20058139">Reflexologist</a>" "<a href="http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/ART02054/Andrew-Weil-Integrative-Medicine.html">Integrative medicine doctor</a>""<a href="http://www.economist.com/blogs/economist-explains/2014/04/economist-explains">homeopath</a>/<a href="http://www.quackwatch.com/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/Naturopathy/naturopathy.html">naturopath</a>/insert <a href="https://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/reiki-fraudulent-misrepresentation/">fraudulent pseudo-science</a> here" and just *<i>use your common sense</i>.* How do you spot them? *<i>They usually want your money in some manner</i>.*<br />
<br />
It's not hard, d'oh: <b>USE YOUR BRAIN!!! </b>It's <a href="http://www.cnet.com/forums/discussions/what-exactly-is-a-rocket-scientist-311313/">not rocket science.</a><br />
<br />
A great place to start that tries its best to expose these quacks and the bizarre and sometimes dangerous theories they espouse <a href="https://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/">is right here</a>. Type your keyword in the search box and get ready to <a href="https://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/reference/chiropractic/">see the chicanery massacred</a>.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #990000;">DON'T FEEL PERSECUTED</span></b>. This is not something someone is forcing you to do because you've been a naughty, idiot loser who's been stuffing your face all your life with complete and utter junk, even if you <b>ARE</b> a naughty, idiot loser who's been stuffing your face all your life with complete and utter junk.<br />
<br />
For an analogy, just think of your car. You love your car, right? You want your car to run the best it can; it may be old, but it works, and you want it to work really well. You don't want to put the lowest-priced-lowest-grade Chinese oil into its engine so it sputters and coughs clouds of <a href="http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2016/01/red-alert-life-beijing-smog-160104063026957.html">Beijing smoke</a>.<br />
<br />
You don't want to ignore that clattering sound until it finally quits and you have to have it towed to a mechanic who tells you it's blown its fraximillik and will now cost you your paycheck-and-a-half.<br />
<br />
<i>*You wouldn't do that to your car, so why would you do it to yourself?*</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<b><span style="color: #990000;">YOU ARE LOVING THE BIOME</span></b>. You don't seriously think that there is some magic life process going on in the background that enables you to eat, sleep and, err, <i>use the toilet </i>in a comfortable, pain-free and happy manner, do you?<br />
<br />
<i>*This is not magic.*</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
There are very real, very living creatures inside your gut that are *<i><b>totally dependent*</b></i> upon you to feed them right so they can do the essential jobs that evolution has spent millions of years crafting in order to enable walking, talking, two-legged biological machines of the <b>highest order</b> of superiority in <i>the entire observable universe that we know of</i>.<br />
<br />
Be mindful of everything that you put into yourself; there are consequences. You may not pay much attention to that bag of M&Ms but believe me, your gut bacteria are paying attention.<br />
<br />
In all likelihood, entire genomes of bacteria that are specifically attracted to all the sugar and chemicals inside those M&Ms are racing to the scene, like <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crips_and_Bloods:_Made_in_America">Crips and Bloods</a> and <a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/05/28/in-acapulco-the-mexican-drug-cartels-sex-abused-street-kids.html">Mexican drug cartels</a>, to wipe out all the normal bacteria who are there, patiently trying to clean you up and make you efficient, these bad guys wreaking havoc as they usually do, not caring whom they kill and what the consequences will be to the Biome.<br />
<br />
That's what these vermin do; <a href="https://www.ucdmc.ucdavis.edu/publish/news/newsroom/7462">it's their jobs</a>. And <b>you're enabling them</b>.<br />
<br />
Next time you get the urge to stuff your face with that Costco hot dog and french fries, just imagine the consequences to all your little friends, and by extension, to yourself. That one hot dog may not seem like a big deal—you work hard, you're on the go, you need food, you deserve it—but that one hot dog turns into ten hot dogs and all the garbage accumulates, poisoning every working organ in your body with the utter shit, the dregs of leavings from the slaughterhouse floor that is cursorily inspected by bored meat inspectors and handled by unhappy carcass slingers. THAT'S what that hot dog is. You just don't want to admit it.<br />
<br />
EVERY TIME you choose the junk option instead of the easily obtainable, healthy option, <i>you're poisoning your little friends who are trying to take care of you. </i>Trust me,<i> they don't want to be fed that shit. </i>So what do they do? They just GIVE UP AND DIE. The bad guys move in.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPUecqSmoG6EPgyeCm4rUBgWbLCyIt4TTXeM279iEDXgonnb-VqK0sKH1Ei0QG-NUBhi9-IsjLLBhqp8n4iIaVNrndmRuqt05p0fi8byrzgfR-46BmiesFUzmOofcwMZ9AMb42DbtAFzs/s1600/DSC_00981.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPUecqSmoG6EPgyeCm4rUBgWbLCyIt4TTXeM279iEDXgonnb-VqK0sKH1Ei0QG-NUBhi9-IsjLLBhqp8n4iIaVNrndmRuqt05p0fi8byrzgfR-46BmiesFUzmOofcwMZ9AMb42DbtAFzs/s200/DSC_00981.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: start;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Cluster of fucking carrots</span></i></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b><span style="color: #990000;">DRESS IT UP</span></b>. Who the fuck wants to chew on a fucking carrot stick? I sure don't. Yet that's what all these advice sites basically tell you to do. "For a noontime snack how about a nice healthy serving of carrots sticks with a fat-free yogurt dip!" Fuck you.<br />
<br />
They put a nice happy photograph of a cluster of carrots in a Martha Stewart bowl. Hey! It's not <i>legumes de conteneur en porcelaine fusée à la Chine</i>. It's a cluster of fucking carrots!<br />
<br />
And we're supposed to space out our meals to five times a day, chopping little carrots sticks or celery sticks, only to have to eat them with some bland Dr. Weil-approved fat-free-gluten-free-fair-trade-probiotic yogurt that <i>just happens to be available to order </i>on his website?! Recurring subscription for a monthly $39.95!<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/XehUeXxdW28?rel=0" width="640"></iframe><br />
<br />
I knew that I would never be able to survive on a regimen like that. So I changed it. You like shrimp? You can buy them, already cooked, at the grocery store, or you can sauté a batch one lazy day and put them in the refrigerator for snacks. They're very healthy, contrary to the fallacious claims by health mavens in the 80s that they had too much cholesterol.<br />
<br />
I just made my noontime and 6 o'clock snack a few shrimp, cold and dipped in a homemade soy-ginger-garlic sauce (recipe on request).<br />
<br />
It was delicious, super-fast, pretty healthy (beats chips and a fucking Coke; if I see you drinking one of those, I'll never speak to you again) and it fills you up nicely. If you're extra-hungry, just add extra shrimp.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #990000;">MORE IDEAS</span></b> and conclusions coming up in <i><b>The Great Learning of 2016: Part II</b></i>ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-83244223941305527752016-05-29T10:38:00.004-07:002016-06-07T22:49:14.376-07:00That's Crazy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFcwqZm5SHWX0n5goCpfzPC87ivTSO7Kt7Y0ojwGlJQi9q3-48f7tvSk7OSKp7no8hMQfGlG5pGIBz6QL-y1YoMI8PLrTvVPJUstPbff0FT23qSfYzuUiDGSu68RcifCqWkiCcpusIC3U/s1600/bieber.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFcwqZm5SHWX0n5goCpfzPC87ivTSO7Kt7Y0ojwGlJQi9q3-48f7tvSk7OSKp7no8hMQfGlG5pGIBz6QL-y1YoMI8PLrTvVPJUstPbff0FT23qSfYzuUiDGSu68RcifCqWkiCcpusIC3U/s400/bieber.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arvo";"><b><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #783f04; color: #7f6000;"> </span><span style="background-color: #e69138;"> </span><span style="background-color: #f6b26b;">T</span></span><span style="background-color: #f4cccc; color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></i></b></span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"> he young blonde Asian woman behind the counter at the health food store flashed me a smile as I set my glass bottle of 2% goat's milk and an empty from last week down in front of her.</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">I was feeling expansive. "Who did your hair? Stevie Wonder? Looks 'Wonder-ful,'" I babbled chirpily. She giggled.</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">"I get two bucks back on this empty, right?" I asked, reaching into my pocket for my cash.</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">"Yes, I give you two dollars for the bottle after."</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">She rang me up. "That'll be $6.34," she smiled, and I looked at the bill in my hand: $5.</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">"Uh, but I get two dollars, right?" I said, not understanding.</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">"Two dollars back, yes, after!" she said happily.</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">I gave up and pulled out my credit card. "Credit?" I said, blinking my eyes rapidly in a nonsensical gesture of joy.</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">"Sure!" she said, and I rang in my card.</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">She pulled out the receipt, opened the drawer and gave me a two-dollar coin.</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">I looked at the coin and looked at the five dollar bill in my hand.</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">I put my credit card back in my pocket.</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">"Hey, thanks!" I said, in genuine pleasure. I now had $7 in my pocket to blow; off to Dollorama!</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">This could be a parable for what is wrong with this world; in which a functioning human being is so confused that she can't put one step mentally ahead of another step unless it makes sense to her oddly ordered mind, which does not jibe with the real-life workings of the observable universe and its billion trillion galaxies.</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">It somehow made more sense to her to force me to use my credit card, just because that magic two-dollar deposit had to come <i>after</i> the whole transaction; gods forbid the eternal rhythm of the Register Gods be disturbed.</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i>So this is my new life?</i> I thought, ponderously. <i>Goat's milk and sprouts for dinner?</i></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">I thought about this on the way home. <i>Is this what the goal of this whole thing was all about—to change my diet so radically that I need access to a health food store just for my basic dietetic necessities?</i></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i>That's crazy,</i> I thought.</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">But then I thought, <i>what's crazy? Is chowing down on a mouthful of Lecithin, artificial flavor, emulsifier, corn syrup, sugar, palm oil, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, salt, artificial flavour (2) </i><i style="font-weight: bold;">smart? </i>(Snickers bar)</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">How about <i>Lactose, Sodium Diacetate, Maltodextrin, Salt, Malic Acid, Sodium Citrate and Sunflower Oil?</i> (Lay's potato chips)</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">Or <i>Sugar, milkfat, salt, artificial flavour, cornstarch, dextrin, artificial colouring (Blue 1 Lake, Red 40 Lake, Yellow 6, Yellow 5, Red 40, Blue 1, Blue 2 Lake, Yellow 6 Lake, Blue 2) gum acacia, lactose </i>(M&Ms)</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
This could be someone's lunchtime snack regimen. <i>There are actually people who eat this, day in, day out, for years, decades, every single day</i>.<br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
How about you? Do you eat this? Why not just hang out in a chemistry lab all day and munch on the pickings?<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>What's crazy?</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Yes, it's an extra effort to go to the health food store, and frankly, quite silly to think that goat's milk is any better for me than cow's milk (it's not).<br />
<br />
But it <i>makes me feel good about myself</i>; it <i>makes my bacteria feel good about ME</i>.<br />
<br />
I imagine that down there they're thanking their lucky stars that they've found a human who managed to turn the page from the <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2015/07/07/health/western-diet-health/">Western Diet</a> to something sane, something they could <i>actually live on</i>, instead of constantly swimming in a chemical and grease-gob-filled <a href="http://mysteriousuniverse.org/2014/06/chem-meals-can-your-western-diet-kill-you/">swill of <i>crap</i></a> that their owner somehow <i>confused with food</i>.<br />
<br />
<i>That's crazy. </i>Right?<br />
<br />
In my next post, I'll tell you what this thirty days of discovery and deprivation has taught me; and I can tell you, it's not crazy.<br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"></span>ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-87884283834279032152016-05-27T16:44:00.001-07:002016-05-27T16:44:31.445-07:00Miracles<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arvo";"><b><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #073763; color: #7f6000;"> </span><span style="background-color: #0b5394;"> </span><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;">I</span></span><span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></i></b></span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"> don't have much to say.</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">But what I say is important. I want to you to listen carefully: miracles <i>can</i> happen. Except they can only happen according to Einstein: Energy equals mass times the speed of light. I know that's a bit hard to understand, but in the real world, it means that to achieve something, you have to put in a lot of effort.</span><br />
<br />
Sometimes, a <i>lot</i> of effort.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="420" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/vxB-LbcZITU?rel=0" width="660"></iframe><br />
<br />
Oscar Peterson wasn't a genius pianist because he was born a genius, and uh, just sat down at the piano and, well, watch the video.<br />
<br />
The fact is that he put <i>thousands of hours</i> in at the keyboard before he played a note in public. That usually means eight hours a day for <i>months</i>—probably <i>years</i>.<br />
<br />
For anyone to get good at anything, they have to put in <i>huge</i> amounts of effort. Just like the Atlas rocket engine expended enough energy to get Apollo 11 into space—a HUGE amount of energy just for that tiny three-man capsule—we have to expend mental <i>and</i> physical energy to achieve good things.<br />
<br />
And sometimes, results take a long time to see.<br />
<br />
And many, many many times, we're just too impatient and we give up in disgust because nothing seems to be happening.<br />
<br />
It's why people give up their diets, for one.<br />
<br />
Today, I looked again at my hands.<br />
<br />
You don't know how <a href="http://patient.info/forums/discuss/psoriasis-is-ruining-my-life--36884">insidious psoriasis can be</a>. If you're cursed enough to have it—even a mild version, in my case—it can run your life; govern everything you do.<br />
<br />
I hated doing anything in the kitchen that involved water, because I was wearing so many bandaids on my right hand. And the water would soak into them and galvanize the sores beneath them. It would <i>hurt</i>.<br />
<br />
So I often refused to help Brigitte, say, chopping vegetables or filling the dishwasher.<br />
<br />
Small things, maybe, but it <i>still controls your life</i>. And I HATE anything controlling my life.<br />
<br />
So I looked at my hand today, and I noticed—again—that my psoriasis has gone. I mean, <i>gone</i>. It's like I had taken some miracle drug; I just keep looking at my hand in total disbelief because for the past five years or so, every time I looked at my hand I either had every finger bandaged or red, angry and <i>about</i> to be bandaged.<br />
<br />
Day in, day out, <i>for five years</i>. And that was after a five-year remission (before that remission, when I was living in Japan, it was even worse).<br />
<br />
And in less than one month, because I have switched my diet—to tell you the truth I have no idea what <i>part</i> of switching my diet did this—my psoriasis has gone<i> completely into remission</i>.<br />
<br />
To me, folks, this is nothing short of a miracle.<br />
<br />
For the past five years, let me tell you, I've tried everything. Every cream. <a href="https://www.psoriasis.org/about-psoriasis/treatments/topicals/non-steroid">Dovonex</a>. <a href="http://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-20335/protopic-topical/details">Protopic</a>. <a href="https://dailymed.nlm.nih.gov/dailymed/drugInfo.cfm?setid=dd88b3d6-748d-4772-b48c-78b2e550aa17">Maximum Strength Hydrocortisone</a>. I've tried <a href="https://www.psoriasis.org/about-psoriasis/treatments/phototherapy">UV lamps</a>. <a href="http://www.psorsite.com/docs/occlusion.html">Occlusion with rubber gloves</a>. <i>Sunlight</i>.<br />
<br />
Nothing worked.<br />
<br />
Until now.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjws6TkvGA-Bv8mtRitj7SJGV0uWNm03RNamD4Nh_Pn1PYL4h128YCIHgsSDZMvqU8EzQQawgph5xcrcLO2T3TdGLCAeJjSoN6-BAeaw9DZGbm_R2S0OlEUIvHkt6qrjSu0PYBNlHE_LrE/s1600/fingers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjws6TkvGA-Bv8mtRitj7SJGV0uWNm03RNamD4Nh_Pn1PYL4h128YCIHgsSDZMvqU8EzQQawgph5xcrcLO2T3TdGLCAeJjSoN6-BAeaw9DZGbm_R2S0OlEUIvHkt6qrjSu0PYBNlHE_LrE/s400/fingers.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The psoriasis is <i><b>almost gone.</b></i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
To me, folks, and pardon me if I keep repeating it, this is a <i>fucking miracle </i>(not just a regular goddamn miracle). I'm usually a skeptic about any naturopsycopathic homeo-integrated-gluten-free nonsense about diet, but this is <i>undeniable</i>; it's right in front of my face and <i>on my hand</i>.<br />
<br />
<i>I can't deny it</i>.<br />
<br />
But my point is, I went through a huge effort for this. <i>It didn't happen overnight</i>. I did things that for me, are just plain odd.<br />
<br />
I pretty much gave up sugar, wheat, dairy and fat for <i>seven days.</i> (Look at me exaggerating. Seven days goes by in a flash!)<br />
<br />
But what I got for that seven days of "deprivation"—really, just an extreme effort on my part not to yield to numerous temptations—was complete remission of a years-long disease that controlled and altered my life.<br />
<br />
Seven days of effort for a <i>huge reward</i>.<br />
<br />
Just imagine what otter autoimmune disorders this could help. Obesity? Migraines? Fatigue? Insomnia?<br />
<br />
(Did I mention that I'm sleeping every night in solid blocks of five to six hours? Another miracle.)<br />
<br />
I can't explain what happened, but I also can't deny it.<br />
<br />
I've reintroduced sugar, in the form of honey, and dairy in the form of goat's milk and kefir, but no more ice cream . . . no more whipped cream . . . no more cheese . . . (<i>no more pizzas!</i>)<br />
<br />
But you know what? It's okay. I can do it. I <i>will</i> do it.<br />
<br />
I'm sorry; I should be talking about The Biome.<br />
<br />
But today, I can only talk about The Miracle.ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-21118974593657339712016-05-26T19:28:00.000-07:002016-05-26T19:32:09.062-07:00Transformed<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2CXDZNPXNFF5HcmwhAlRa6hAUFqOB5w4MT38nFjsYPM5edl-cmUcy9JkAPnDwixIIaKKkyiL1BgqUYCHBs1VBtS4SjcXrGJtckdHbszwb68hfZv0rpZkhv_urILIxH2lydWKtRSZkCso/s1600/stopsign.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2CXDZNPXNFF5HcmwhAlRa6hAUFqOB5w4MT38nFjsYPM5edl-cmUcy9JkAPnDwixIIaKKkyiL1BgqUYCHBs1VBtS4SjcXrGJtckdHbszwb68hfZv0rpZkhv_urILIxH2lydWKtRSZkCso/s400/stopsign.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thinner?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arvo";"><b><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #073763; color: #7f6000;"> </span><span style="background-color: #0b5394;"> </span><span style="background-color: #3d85c6;">"S</span></span><span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></i></b></span></span><i style="background-color: #9fc5e8; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;"><b> </b></i><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>alut, Jean!"</i> I said cheerily to the chubby middle-aged Mediterranean man standing in front of my building's</span></span> elevators.<br />
<br />
He was the delivery guy from the pharmacy; he knew me well because I always give him a $2 tip.<br />
<br />
His grey beard twitched as he looked at me blankly.<br />
<br />
<i>"C'est moi, Jean! Huit-cent-sept!"</i><br />
<br />
His expression began to change somewhat comically as a look of recognition slowly crept across his rumpled features, and I stifled an urge to laugh.<br />
<br />
<i>"Monsieur Nicolas?"</i> he stammered, confused. His moustache trembled on his upper lip like a grey caterpillar.<br />
<br />
"Jean! It's me! The guy in 807!"<br />
<br />
<i>"Mais—mais, vous avez jeunissé!"</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
I wasn't sure about the French, but I thought he'd said "You've gotten younger!"<br />
<br />
And the strange comment wasn't the first time that day; I had just returned from my visit to the hospital, where I had gone into Brigitte's room to find that one of her old friends had come to visit.<br />
<br />
"You lost weight"" said Rachel, not even bothering to say hello.<br />
<br />
Well, I'm not too sure about getting younger and losing weight. The scale says that I lost around ten pounds over the week or so that I "deprived" myself of wheat, dairy, sugar and meat, but other than having an unfamiliar surge of energy, I look in the mirror and just see same old me . . . but obviously <i>they</i> don't.<br />
<br />
Besides, can such a transformation take place within only a few days?<br />
<br />
Well, let's see.<br />
<br />
Last Sunday, if you recall, was the start of Phase III: The Renewal, or whatever you want to call my process of hitting my microbiome with everything I've got, after pretty much depriving it of everything for a week in Phase II.<br />
<br />
I wake up every morning with a coffee and eucalyptus honey—I read somewhere that contrary to what I once thought honey is a lot different to the Biome than sugar, because it actually contains dozens of compounds that white sugar does not, and these compounds are apparently beneficial to the gut bacteria.<br />
<br />
I add a dash of organic goat's milk, because, well, <i>no antibiotics</i>.<br />
<br />
My "breakfast" is <a href="https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B00772DYRA/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o09_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1">50 billion bacteria</a>, about <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtat1R6AEO2lea-V3BIhG5qcVO4kazG3HVgRsro9hL0KFuU3dARK3Xodkg1sXjfj8-q0HyX4i8ZvHO3hBYX98QSBUejXJP9aoOtrNaYvd4VpyeInegsW64RrQm5EGExCrslB9Q5rRUu5g/s1600/vitamins.jpg">20 different vitamins and minerals</a>, and then a chaser of <i>kefir</i> bolstered with a scoop of <a href="https://www.prebiotin.com/product/prebiotic-fiber/">Prebiotin</a> and <a href="https://www.organicburst.com/products/baobab">baobab powder</a>. And then . . . well, let "Monsieur Nicolas" tell it:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSCA0IlBWG7WWDCKoxsAMaFGfkd5qOcfmLKCE_bPJfxFQPSZtn52VQS_iIJWnIswdGR27TRUR534Z5bjQtJVciOsT0an4UvueShNO7P4PjS-OTcbxGdM1duYn8eQxo2C2UfTaJ-ZLChlM/s1600/snacktime.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSCA0IlBWG7WWDCKoxsAMaFGfkd5qOcfmLKCE_bPJfxFQPSZtn52VQS_iIJWnIswdGR27TRUR534Z5bjQtJVciOsT0an4UvueShNO7P4PjS-OTcbxGdM1duYn8eQxo2C2UfTaJ-ZLChlM/s640/snacktime.jpg" width="569" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The result of all this, on Day Five of my "Renew" phase, in which I carefully try to build up the bacterial populations in my gut microbiome while watching carefully my intake of dairy, wheat, glucose, carbohydrates and fats, is that I'm sleeping up to six undisturbed hours per night, I'm walking to and from the hospital every day with a spring in my step and no fatigue whatsoever, and I'm still raring to go in the evenings.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
That figures to probably a 150% boost of energy levels, much, much better sleep every night, a calm, untroubled stomach and digestive system, and all around, so far <b><i>this week</i></b>, a smashing success!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I am, of course, documenting all this on charts, which I will post as soon as they're completed.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
This phase will continue for a week from next Sunday to make two weeks altogether, at which point I will take samples and send them in to uBiome, and then sit back and <b><i>assess assess assess!</i></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<b><i><br /></i></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
See you in ten pounds.</div>
ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-80157748755478744802016-05-24T17:55:00.003-07:002016-05-24T18:08:04.056-07:00You Carry Oats<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNqA8pcfqopxOSUARnMcqvL21guVu6tA1fhEx-BAAazvHemT3WPPOtsyyM2ur0NSHwc2GQa2Qz5gItYcsLVnH7UW1LpI4-qbcJizbmgH6-zeRmFUkCKeIj5HOzDUQIzbr3jjEE3uT_-Po/s1600/bugs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="272" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNqA8pcfqopxOSUARnMcqvL21guVu6tA1fhEx-BAAazvHemT3WPPOtsyyM2ur0NSHwc2GQa2Qz5gItYcsLVnH7UW1LpI4-qbcJizbmgH6-zeRmFUkCKeIj5HOzDUQIzbr3jjEE3uT_-Po/s400/bugs.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="color: white; font-size: x-large;"><b><i style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #4c1130; color: #7f6000;"> </span><span style="background-color: #741b47; color: white;"> </span><span style="background-color: #a64d79; color: white;">E</span></span><span style="color: white;"><span style="background-color: #c27ba0; color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></i></b></span><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i><b style="background-color: #d5a6bd;"> </b></i></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span>ukaryotes.<br />
<br />
<i>A eukaryote is any organism whose cells contain a nucleus and other organelles enclosed within membranes.</i><br />
<br />
We are made of eukaryotes. Bacteria are eukaryotes. Therefore, we're bacteria.<br />
<br />
It's easy to reach that conclusion, which isn't quite correct (I got a ciliae cut at the Shear Path-o-gen salon last week) but to tell the truth, these past three weeks have made me see the world around me in a completely new way.<br />
<br />
For example, I've come to the conclusion that bacteria are our <i>friends</i>. They're working their flagella off to make us healthy. But they're not just sitting around in tiny <a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/kaffeeklatsch">kaffeeklatsches</a> toasting each other with <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helminths">helminths</a> and lime, they're out on the beat, watching out for rogue groups of thug-teria who want to <i>make us sick</i>.<br />
<br />
We're walking war zones—it's always World War III for our <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enterococcus">Enterococcus</a>, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prevotella">Prevotella</a> and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firmicutes">Firmicutes</a>.<br />
<br />
And disturbingly, some of them can <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vancomycin-resistant_Enterococcus">change sides</a>.<br />
<br />
But what I discovered most was a sense of just how prevalent they are; now, when I'm standing in the kitchen, I don't just see a kitchen counter, I see a kitchen counter covered, with every square millimeter, with bacteria. Trillions of them.<br />
<br />
But that thought doesn't scare me—it reassures me. Because most—I'd say 99.9%—mean us no harm at all; they're just going about their daily business.<br />
<br />
And a lot are not just our best friends, they're our <i>essential</i> best friends—like I said, they're going to war everywhere on out behalf.<br />
<br />
So when I look at a carrot that I'm about to scrub as clean as I can get it, I say, no. Let's just wash it off and let the little guys who were making it home—most of them our firm allies—just stay there and take the ride down my gullet to join their firm and cute pals.<br />
<br />
And when I look around me these days, i don't just see scenery—trees and grass and furniture and food—I see a living carpet of out little friends, going to work on our behalf to keep us healthy, happy, and typing these words, because that's what they're making me do.<br />
<br />
But enough about them (I just fired their propaganda minister with a swipe of Purell); here is what I just received in the E-mailome:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">UBIOME</span></b></div>
<table align="center" bgcolor="#FFFFFF" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="container" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border-bottom-left-radius: 2px; border-bottom-right-radius: 2px; border-collapse: collapse !important; border-spacing: 0px; border-top-left-radius: 2px; border-top-right-radius: 2px; font-family: Helvetica; line-height: 14px; max-width: 560px; orphans: 2; padding: 0px; widows: 2; width: 560px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="center" class="heading" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border-collapse: collapse !important; border-spacing: 0px; color: #004c6b; font-size: 24px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 31px; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 20px !important; padding-left: 56px; padding-right: 56px; padding-top: 40px !important; width: 799px;" valign="top">We just received your sample.</td></tr>
<tr><td align="left" class="paragraph" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border-collapse: collapse !important; border-spacing: 0px; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px; margin: 0px; padding: 25px 56px 0px; width: 799px;" valign="top">Hello,</td></tr>
<tr><td align="left" class="paragraph pb20" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border-collapse: collapse !important; border-spacing: 0px; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px; margin: 0px; padding: 25px 56px 20px; width: 799px;" valign="top"><span style="display: block; padding-bottom: 10px;">Thank you so much for being part of uBiome. We have received your samples for kit id 573056491, and they are now safely awaiting processing in our lab.</span><br />
<span style="display: block; padding-bottom: 10px;">In the meantime, you might like to have a look around our blog (<a href="http://ubiomeblog.com/">ubiomeblog.com</a>). Also, we’d love to have you join our fun and insightful microbiome discussions on <a href="http://mandrillapp.com/track/click/30740880/twitter.com?p=eyJzIjoiOVFXZzZLVUhrejc2S3hFUmk5MmFpand0ck1zIiwidiI6MSwicCI6IntcInVcIjozMDc0MDg4MCxcInZcIjoxLFwidXJsXCI6XCJodHRwOlxcXC9cXFwvdHdpdHRlci5jb21cXFwvdWJpb21lXCIsXCJpZFwiOlwiMzI0YWNmYmQxNWViNDFhOTk0OTAyNDI2ZTQ0OWFkYTFcIixcInVybF9pZHNcIjpbXCI5NDhlMmM0NjljODM2ZGYyYzIwZDE2ZTg1YjMwODAzOGFkNjY1OWRjXCJdfSJ9" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; color: #127db3; line-height: 16px; text-decoration: none;" target="blank">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://mandrillapp.com/track/click/30740880/facebook.com?p=eyJzIjoiSm91eHJ1VXYyc3N6Yi1oRTZDeFF0RkhHRGpnIiwidiI6MSwicCI6IntcInVcIjozMDc0MDg4MCxcInZcIjoxLFwidXJsXCI6XCJodHRwOlxcXC9cXFwvZmFjZWJvb2suY29tXFxcL3ViaW9tZVwiLFwiaWRcIjpcIjMyNGFjZmJkMTVlYjQxYTk5NDkwMjQyNmU0NDlhZGExXCIsXCJ1cmxfaWRzXCI6W1wiZDA5MDRjMzhhMDMzNGY3NjFlMGM3MDYwMDY3MzNlZGViMDg0OTMyMFwiXX0ifQ" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; color: #127db3; line-height: 16px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Facebook</a>, <a href="http://mandrillapp.com/track/click/30740880/www.linkedin.com?p=eyJzIjoiVFUwLWd4cTNMYjZzMDBXMTE5QjZidnhzY1JBIiwidiI6MSwicCI6IntcInVcIjozMDc0MDg4MCxcInZcIjoxLFwidXJsXCI6XCJodHRwczpcXFwvXFxcL3d3dy5saW5rZWRpbi5jb21cXFwvY29tcGFueVxcXC8zMDE1NTAwXCIsXCJpZFwiOlwiMzI0YWNmYmQxNWViNDFhOTk0OTAyNDI2ZTQ0OWFkYTFcIixcInVybF9pZHNcIjpbXCJmNmNmYTU0ZTkwNzdkY2RiNmNmNzMwYTI2ZDA3ZDAyYjEwZjExZDEwXCJdfSJ9" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; color: #127db3; line-height: 16px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">LinkedIn</a>, <a href="http://mandrillapp.com/track/click/30740880/plus.google.com?p=eyJzIjoiXzl0a0xSMEw1RW42blZacDlaUGEwU2RBYXVFIiwidiI6MSwicCI6IntcInVcIjozMDc0MDg4MCxcInZcIjoxLFwidXJsXCI6XCJodHRwczpcXFwvXFxcL3BsdXMuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbVxcXC9jb21tdW5pdGllc1xcXC8xMTQxNjk0MDE1Njk5MTE2MzYyMDhcIixcImlkXCI6XCIzMjRhY2ZiZDE1ZWI0MWE5OTQ5MDI0MjZlNDQ5YWRhMVwiLFwidXJsX2lkc1wiOltcIjVhOWI4OTc5NTE5MTFmYmRlZTUzMTYwNzEwZGIxMzlkNGQwMjQ0ZWRcIl19In0" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; color: #127db3; line-height: 16px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Google+</a>, and follow us on<a href="http://mandrillapp.com/track/click/30740880/instagram.com?p=eyJzIjoiWmJUcnZ4anBPZFh4SzY1bzNFLUVjbWNGZEw4IiwidiI6MSwicCI6IntcInVcIjozMDc0MDg4MCxcInZcIjoxLFwidXJsXCI6XCJodHRwOlxcXC9cXFwvaW5zdGFncmFtLmNvbVxcXC91YmlvbWVcIixcImlkXCI6XCIzMjRhY2ZiZDE1ZWI0MWE5OTQ5MDI0MjZlNDQ5YWRhMVwiLFwidXJsX2lkc1wiOltcIjUzODQ3NWRiN2ZkMDJhNjUyNDM2ZWVhMWVmZWMyNGFhMGY3ZjE2MTVcIl19In0" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; color: #127db3; line-height: 16px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Instagram</a> and <a href="http://mandrillapp.com/track/click/30740880/www.pinterest.com?p=eyJzIjoicTkwLUpLcHFLMnVwbjhJTDZBWVNzSDZZRWEwIiwidiI6MSwicCI6IntcInVcIjozMDc0MDg4MCxcInZcIjoxLFwidXJsXCI6XCJodHRwczpcXFwvXFxcL3d3dy5waW50ZXJlc3QuY29tXFxcL3UyNjk3XFxcL21pY3JvYmlvbWUtYXdlc29tZW5lc3NcXFwvXCIsXCJpZFwiOlwiMzI0YWNmYmQxNWViNDFhOTk0OTAyNDI2ZTQ0OWFkYTFcIixcInVybF9pZHNcIjpbXCIyNDE4Yzc4NGI3ODljZjNhYjY0MjIwNTRiNzcwNzYyYzcyZmFmODRmXCJdfSJ9" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; color: #127db3; line-height: 16px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Pinterest</a> too.</span><br />
<span style="display: block; padding-bottom: 10px;">Once your sample is ready, we will tell you what's in there and how you compare to our other community members.</span><br />
<span style="display: block; padding-bottom: 10px;">Thanks!</span></td></tr>
<tr><td align="left" class="paragraph" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border-collapse: collapse !important; border-spacing: 0px; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px; margin: 0px; padding: 25px 56px 0px; width: 799px;" valign="top">Jennifer and the uBiome Team<br />
<a href="mailto:support@ubiome.com" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; color: #127db3; line-height: 16px; text-decoration: none;">support@ubiome.com</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Oh, what fun!<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Meanwhile, on <b><span style="color: #cc0000;">Day Three of Phase III—the Reset</span></b>, I'm finding that I have <b>more energy</b>, and <b>sleeping very well</b>, but most of all, <i><b>take a look at this:</b></i></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdPHGQHu-7Z_s_Uwc2U_v2uackjfCRxcVT5pKEBryQ3QPpgZZsqPpn9RybTjysEFpfndTF0JR-NaVR9CxhWJ9fVIgXOhBVjfKNcCRAAATOHvgpLCOGdY23feBBQbNSavtaGuwN-d3oymc/s1600/ps2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdPHGQHu-7Z_s_Uwc2U_v2uackjfCRxcVT5pKEBryQ3QPpgZZsqPpn9RybTjysEFpfndTF0JR-NaVR9CxhWJ9fVIgXOhBVjfKNcCRAAATOHvgpLCOGdY23feBBQbNSavtaGuwN-d3oymc/s640/ps2.jpg" width="496" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">P<i>soriasis on my right hand, Day One of Phase I, <b>May 1st, 2016</b></i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYRpa7IkqhIvj7jQiqPCEG-Vj4RN2aIcGgTMtj3HlGoRdnu8eBNR890tKmdh-iG5Iw53QyKT_sdHKLP-flbdrXWinaiDmA7nMIqO0LQKwBnpbCeRLu2v_6p-ztkLp6fQzmoJJNKU3DaHw/s1600/after.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="572" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYRpa7IkqhIvj7jQiqPCEG-Vj4RN2aIcGgTMtj3HlGoRdnu8eBNR890tKmdh-iG5Iw53QyKT_sdHKLP-flbdrXWinaiDmA7nMIqO0LQKwBnpbCeRLu2v_6p-ztkLp6fQzmoJJNKU3DaHw/s640/after.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Psoriasis on my right hand today, three weeks and two days later: <b>May 24th, 2016</b></i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
Now, I don't honestly know what's going on; whether it's my eliminating totally for a week and now reducing dairy, sugar, meat and wheat to a bare minimum, or whether it's walking to the hospital every day, but MY PSORIASIS IS IN REMISSION FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THREE YEARS.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
There is the proof; you can't deny the photographs.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
You carry oats, indeed!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Details and full report at 11.</div>
ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-39189356486445334792016-05-22T17:21:00.000-07:002016-05-22T17:21:12.538-07:00Survey Says . . !<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi79MN10M5nIx25I6GZ8NKVT0rZpt-EwkIkEqLzg0qY4-e2tuJK-8YEsizSlgrxE1oWrDfeRZTQNmC2bm8yTGkuBKB6vZW2aMCjfWzP2iBHlxwVLp8JXdG11VHU4LP5rgtoyRyPmy7Zwqk/s1600/shrimpsnack.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi79MN10M5nIx25I6GZ8NKVT0rZpt-EwkIkEqLzg0qY4-e2tuJK-8YEsizSlgrxE1oWrDfeRZTQNmC2bm8yTGkuBKB6vZW2aMCjfWzP2iBHlxwVLp8JXdG11VHU4LP5rgtoyRyPmy7Zwqk/s400/shrimpsnack.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
<span style="color: white; font-size: x-large;"><b><i style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #783f04; color: #7f6000;"> </span><span style="background-color: #b45f06; color: white;"> </span><span style="background-color: #e69138; color: white;">R</span></span><span style="color: white;"><span style="background-color: #f6b26b; color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></i></b></span><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i><b style="background-color: #ffe599;"> </b></i></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span>emember that goofy game show <a href="https://youtu.be/BeRby1A_HvQ">Family Feud with that British guy</a> who used to be on Hogan's Heroes? You don't? Lucky you! You still have time to <a href="http://biomemechanic.blogspot.ca/2016/04/repent-reset-renew.html">repent, reset and renew!</a><br />
<br />
<b><i>Results from Day One: Phase III:</i></b><br />
<br />
Not much. On the scale, I lost <b>nine pounds in one week</b>. I went from 160.7 lbs. To 151.0 lbs.<br />
<br />
That's more than one pound a day. I don't know quite what to make of it, but Brigitte says it's unhealthy. "You look sick!" she said. "I don't like you when you lose weight!"<br />
<br />
Well, as you all know, I'm not in this to lose weight; it's obviously what The Biome wants, for whatever reasons best left to them, now that a new regime is in town.<br />
<br />
Here is roughly how my day went (remember, this is the day that I quit quitting sugar, dairy and wheat, while downing <a href="https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B00772DYRA/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o09_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1">50-billion-strong bacteria pills</a> and <a href="https://www.prebiotin.com/product/prebiotic-fiber/">strong foods for all of them</a>):<br />
<hr />
<b><span style="color: #990000;">I MADE MY COFFEE</span></b> with a teaspoon of <a href="http://www.honeypacifica.com/cold-packed-eucalyptus-honey/">unpasteurized eucalyptus honey</a> and a couple of tablespoons of <a href="http://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/goat-milk-benefits/">fresh goat's milk from a glass bottle</a>. It was unexpectedly delicious.<br />
<br />
My biome cheered.<br />
<br />
For my midmorning snack, I piled two shrimp into a tiny bowl and heaped some self-invented ginger-soy-habanero dressing on it. I chased it with chilled San Pellegrino water garnished with lemon and strawberries. But before all that, I ingested 50 billion bacteria in a probiotic pill.<br />
<br />
My biome cheered.<br />
<br />
I then downed all the vitamins for the day, and then mixed up in a small vessel a half-scoop of Prebiotin powder with a couple of tablespoons of <a href="http://www.saugeencountrydairy.com/kefir.html">fresh Kefir</a>. It was oddly sugarsour, but not unpleasant. I could feel the bacteria squirming on my tongue as they happily vanished down the Magic Slide to their chums in the Biome.<br />
<br />
My biome cheered! There were hearty back—err, <i>flagellum</i>slaps all round as they welcomed their strange-looking but happy countrymen into the fold. I can almost see them all, having an immense celebration at the beginning of Phase III! Let's hope they let the viruses, parasites and helminths in to the dance hall. ("Ciliae stamps, please, gentlemen! No crowding, there's good fellows.")<br />
<br />
And then I sat back and waited.<br />
<br />
Nothing. Nothing happened; my stomach did not explode. My stomach did . . . nothing.<br />
<br />
Perhaps everyone is so stunned by their abrupt change in fortune that they've temporarily declared a National Holiday, in imitation of tomorrow's Victoria Day here in Canadica.<br />
<br />
But not so fast; this afternoon I went down to the hospital with a <a href="https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B00B1KVCEQ/ref=s9_simh_gw_g79_i1_r?pf_rd_m=A3DWYIK6Y9EEQB&pf_rd_s=desktop-1&pf_rd_r=2CXNHPX2TWJZHF7EX2JF&pf_rd_t=36701&pf_rd_p=2443077022&pf_rd_i=desktop">thermos</a> of goat's milk latte for Brigitte to sample. "It really smells like goat's milk!" she said, curling her lip. Frankly, I can't smell anything, and the coffee, which I ended up drinking by myself, was spectacular.<br />
<br />
But still nothing from the Biome . . . a deafening silence, despite the sudden injection of lactose.<br />
<br />
I walked back on a perfect day and stopped off at the Arab grill place to buy some brochettes of chicken for my dinner tonight: whole wheat pita with chicken, red pepper, red onion, garlic, cole slaw cabbage, cilantro and Spring Mix lettuce.<br />
<br />
That should give them something to shout about!ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-11072637761639358242016-05-22T06:30:00.002-07:002016-05-22T06:44:52.588-07:00Say Hello Nicely To Our Tiny Overlords<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKfwtPJ004EXU0QBELP1czZkgrD6SgDpt_C2NZM_XQkuiML9L2Ju6W3USIwcwGVckGUmAQPRBXbFX4WFEQ2EUYRW6Zgn_VVtVlyIZfZQp4lm_mv-tG_RS47Wdcvy4UaMwrl7AvSUUPlK8/s1600/Photograph-by-Martin-Oeggerli.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKfwtPJ004EXU0QBELP1czZkgrD6SgDpt_C2NZM_XQkuiML9L2Ju6W3USIwcwGVckGUmAQPRBXbFX4WFEQ2EUYRW6Zgn_VVtVlyIZfZQp4lm_mv-tG_RS47Wdcvy4UaMwrl7AvSUUPlK8/s320/Photograph-by-Martin-Oeggerli.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="color: white; font-size: x-large;"><b><i style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #073763; color: blue;"> </span><span style="background-color: #0b5394; color: white;"> </span><span style="background-color: #3d85c6; color: white;">F</span></span><span style="background-color: #b45f06; color: white;"><span style="background-color: #6fa8dc; color: #6fa8dc; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></i></b></span><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i><b style="background-color: #9fc5e8;"> </b></i></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span>rom a recent diary entry:<br />
<hr />
<div style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;">
<div style="font-family: 'Myriad Pro'; font-size: 16px;">
There really is something going on with those bastardteria and the gut biome . . . NO hunter-gatherers have even HEARD of an auto-immune disease, let alone had one. It's all diet, diet diet and feeding that ravenous horde of symbionts that own US—we don't own THEM.</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Myriad Pro'; font-size: 16px; min-height: 19px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Myriad Pro'; font-size: 16px;">
Some scientists have compared animals like us as actually being living hives, sharing our living space—no, being PART of the same living space, as fucking microbes. They ARE us, they outnumber our human cells TEN TO FUCKING ONE. We're not even human, we're MOSTLY MICROBIAL.</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Myriad Pro'; font-size: 16px; min-height: 19px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Myriad Pro'; font-size: 16px;">
And <i>god help you if they ever get pissed off.</i></div>
</div>
<hr />
Two people whom I love are in dire straits as I type, and I put the blame squarely on the microbiome because they're both suffering from serious, disabling auto-immune diseases.<br />
<br />
The microbiome goes silently about its business but I compare them to a vast symphony orchestra who plays tunes with the instruments you give them. And curse you if you give them old, broken instruments . . . the result is not going to be nice to hear. If they somehow had a Union, its head would be a very angry Jimmy Hoffa. (<i>J. Hoffanensia?</i>)<br />
<br />
Hark to the words of <a href="http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/loom/2010/03/04/i-for-one-welcome-our-microbial-overlords/#.V0Gvwzq3fWl">this guy</a>, who wrote an entire book about some other little folk in whose goings-on we should be veriverrrryy interested—<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Parasite-Rex-Bizarre-Dangerous-Creatures/dp/074320011X">parasites</a>.<br />
<br />
It's very hard explaining to the masses why this whole microbiome thing has exploded onto the world—even I had no idea until recently—but I'll try to explain it in simple terms, which is the way I came to understand it:<br />
<br />
Up until fairly recently, we could only examine bacteria in any detail when we could make cultures of them in the lab. This limited us immensely, since the vast majority—something like 99%—are not able to be cultured outside the environment in which they operate normally; i.e. the gut).<br />
<br />
But scientists have been given an amazing tool—DNA sequencing—which enables them to bypass cultivation and go directly to seeing all the DNA information about these bacteria. The sequencing involved requires a lot of computing power, but recently that has become much less expensive, so more people can afford to study bacteria, so more bacteria have become studied, and so on and so on.<br />
<br />
So basically, technology has opened this vast door from behind which had hidden all these incredible, invisible secrets that are only just now revealing themselves. It's kind of like a blind man gradually beginning to be able to see colours. ("Oh, so THIS is the red everyone's been talking about!" ["This is what's causing us to all get sick!" in the case of the microbiome])<br />
<br />
It's what enables humble old me to get my gut contents <a href="http://ubiome.com/pages/buynow">analyzed by some lab for $99</a>. It's what enabled me, a couple of years ago, to <a href="https://www.23andme.com/en-ca/">get my DNA sequenced</a> (and that of my son and my mother).<br />
<br />
It's fascinating and sobering what technology can do today—but also very scary to realize that it is perhaps not we at all who are controlling our own destinies, and that we should really take a hard look at how our presence here on earth is actually part of a vast cooperative effort on many more lifeforms that have been around for billions of years longer than us, that <i>they</i> are actually the ones piloting our ship, not us, by a long shot, and that we're going to have to be very, very mindful of that fact if we want to coexist with them peacefully and not come to grief.<br />
<br />
I am fiercely at work trying, in this late stage in life, to get to know these overlords and try to make peace with them before they decide that they've had enough of me and my blundering ways and start to wander off to occupy a more obliging and cooperative host.ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-44856269103004948262016-05-21T07:29:00.000-07:002016-05-21T07:41:05.747-07:00The Grand Reboot of 2016: Phase III<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNvijyQo6X4OzmhmdVG25dt_8rZ1RgR9mnnkyLOn_2uajSZhPBqxiC6nOhBpPNoTsd1_hkDN0Zp8WV2iLZGUwnxi4fGyTg99fmEUM49C3Y_Q81DgA7YhWguOz6Jj248Ed2PjBznYnDw9A/s1600/Approaching-the-summit-of-the-Eiger-on-the-Mittelegi-Ridge-Swiss-Alps_imagelarge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNvijyQo6X4OzmhmdVG25dt_8rZ1RgR9mnnkyLOn_2uajSZhPBqxiC6nOhBpPNoTsd1_hkDN0Zp8WV2iLZGUwnxi4fGyTg99fmEUM49C3Y_Q81DgA7YhWguOz6Jj248Ed2PjBznYnDw9A/s320/Approaching-the-summit-of-the-Eiger-on-the-Mittelegi-Ridge-Swiss-Alps_imagelarge.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arvo"; font-size: large;"><b><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #3d85c6; color: white;"> </span><span style="background-color: #134f5c;"><span style="color: #b45f06;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: #cc0000; color: white;">J</span></span><span style="background-color: #93c47d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"> </span></span></i></b></span><span style="font-family: "arvo"; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="background-color: #ffe599; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><b> </b></i></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;"> </span>ust gotta say that I am humbled by all this, but also out of my depth. Still, the general swimming pool is not deep, and as I continue to wrap my mind around all theses multiple concepts, things will be easier to follow.<br />
<br />
One thing I'm hearing peripherally is alarming; I had started this project with an aim to simply reset my gut bacteria, replace it with a much healthier one, and then basically continue with a sane and healthier diet, to the best of my ability.<br />
<br />
I was naïve.<br />
<br />
I certainly was not contemplating giving up all dairy or all wheat; that is inconceivable and so ridiculously radical that I can't do it. I <i>won't</i> do it.<br />
<br />
Yet on many sides I'm assaulted with the "gluten causes inflammation" and "lactose causes bacterial overgrowth" blah blah blah. Trouble is, it's not Dr. Oz or Oprah saying these things; it's the National Institute for Health and a positive cruise ship full of respected medical researchers at the highest possible levels—now involving the <a href="https://weather.com/science/video/white-house-launches-microbiome-initiative">US government itself</a>—so it's not a case of "Yeah, well you can take <i><b>that</b></i> with several boulders of salt. Dr. Phil, bless his pointed little vacuum chamber of a head, is not a <i>real</i> doctor."<br />
<br />
So these are <i>real</i> doctors speaking in dispassionate, medical terms, discussing things like how drinking milk causes the bacteria in your gut to go nuts and degrade the intestinal walls blah blah blah and <a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/08/140812121924.htm">allow "endotoxins" into your bloodstream</a> which <i>provokes your body's immune response</i>.<br />
<br />
THIS is the relevant information, and also the information that makes the most sense and explains just what these mysterious, baffling "modern" diseases like asthma, rheumatoid arthritis, and yeah, even that so-called-vegan housewives' mystery affliction, fibromyalgia (which most doctors dismiss as "all in the mind") are.<br />
<br />
Yeah, well, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is also "all in the mind," and you know why? Because the doctors just have <i>no other explanation for it. </i>Yet it undeniably exists! Thousands, if not millions of people suffer sometimes life-long conditions in which they're too tired to do anything.<br />
<br />
Well, of course the doctors aren't going to go there, because as yet there is no pill for "Persistent musculoskeletal insufficiency with idiopathic modalities."<br />
<br />
But back to my new worry: am I going to completely stop all sugar, wheat and dairy? Because this is what all the scientific evidence is telling me to do. And if I were some robotic reactionary, yeah, well, that is what I might be inclined to do.<br />
<br />
But let's be sensible for a minute here; I personally am not suffering from a grave, debilitating condition like persistent and disabling fatigue that affects my daily life blah blah blah. I am not overweight.<br />
<br />
I have completely non-serious afflictions like insomnia and mild psoriasis, with some peripheral neuropathy, tinnitus and sore joints. You might file that under the rubric "Getting Old" and you'd be right.<br />
<br />
But is a vain attempt to turn back the clock worth dispensing of milk and sugar in my morning joe, eating vegetables wrapped in lettuce leaves instead of whole wheat pitas, or forgoing all "unhealthy" foodstuffs?<br />
<br />
Well, of course not.<br />
<br />
Because as a rule, my personality is yes, to overdo things (like alcohol) but also to call a spade a spade and know when I've reached the end of a particular line. But it is NOT my character to leap so far into some completely new way of thinking or behaving that I leave my brain behind.<br />
<br />
Let me put it this way: of course, one <i>could</i> radicalize one's diet by completely eliminating all these so-called "inflammation-causing vectors" but the result would be that you would inevitably give up in despair and return in short order to your old bad habits.<br />
<br />
So what is the solution? Well, for one thing, taking away all these supposedly unhealthy purveyors of sickness might alleviate all that ails you, but you'd be one miserable, colourless, boring son of a bitch at the end of it and in the long term would not be sustainable.<br />
<br />
But what about curbing those biota-shredding bad guys to manageable levels and compensating with biota-building <i>good</i> guys, like massive amounts of plant fiber (that the bacteria love to feed on) ?<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUaU_y9ovxDjmX-CgiLQp5tOoWVMQP6utPLQf1Wh1SiHhRtRVu8Iq5Rhb0Xi_3ui0Ukrmmo0Mt3UVcxOYyzzTbQHoMWwb5B36mYGg39830yHXwI2LX5fYmt9xQia7-95owSGOxYzMBhck/s1600/cuir-gratin-dauphinois-pommes-de-terre.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUaU_y9ovxDjmX-CgiLQp5tOoWVMQP6utPLQf1Wh1SiHhRtRVu8Iq5Rhb0Xi_3ui0Ukrmmo0Mt3UVcxOYyzzTbQHoMWwb5B36mYGg39830yHXwI2LX5fYmt9xQia7-95owSGOxYzMBhck/s320/cuir-gratin-dauphinois-pommes-de-terre.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Not about to give it up</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
One approach like this would have your daily diet pretty much conforming to very low levels of wheat, dairy and sugar, BUT not discounting the occasional—read, once or twice a month—splurge with the steaks, <i>pommes-de-terre dauphinois,</i> melting-Madagascar-dark-chocolate-extravaganza washed down with a Cointreau-spiked café espagnole.<br />
<br />
In other words, <i>moderation</i>, people, <i>moderation</i>.<br />
<br />
I love my filet mignon and double bacon cheeseburger just as much as the next guy; I really do. But in my real life, I don't eat those once a week. I might eat them once or even twice, <i>every six months </i>(if you indulge any more than that, it's more probably a psychiatrist you need, not a dietician) but basically, just carrying on as I generally have been is a good idea.<br />
<br />
It's what you consume day in, day out that is the big issue, not the occasional insane splurge. If you eat at fast food restaurants one or more times a week, you need to sit down and reexamine your life; you really do, because that just isn't necessary, and furthermore, <i>it doesn't make sense</i>.<br />
<br />
I've gone on too long here; tomorrow will be the beginning of Phase III—The Rebuilding, in which I start all the prebiotics and probiotics, basically reconstructing my gut biota with all the stuff they love, increasing their diversity and making their lives very, very happy.<br />
<br />
I will not accomplish this by throwing sugar at them, but instead, fiber, fiber and more fiber; not necessarily in powders, pills and potions, but in <i>actual foods</i> proven to be high in fiber (as yet to be determined).<br />
<br />
Also, feed them with probiotic foods, such as kimchi and yogurt. With <i>tons</i> of fruits and vegetables and nuts and legumes (whatever those are).<br />
<br />
I'll try to establish a sane, workable and tasty diet that I know I'll be able to continue without too much fussing day in, day out, without feeling deprived or hungry.<br />
<br />
I'll continue to consume lactose, sucrose and gluten—<i>in moderation</i>. But to those I'll add phytochemicals, aquifers and frexnims, with maybe some Essence of Quoxitongan Fringling berries thrown in for good measure.<br />
<br />
I can't wait for tomorrow.ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-36341405022102682472016-05-20T00:51:00.001-07:002016-05-20T00:56:54.547-07:00From The Bushman's Mouth<span style="color: white; font-size: x-large;"><b><i style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #274e13;"> </span><span style="background-color: #134f5c; color: #b45f06;"> </span><span style="background-color: #6aa84f; color: white;">T</span></span><span style="background-color: #b45f06; color: white;"><span style="background-color: #93c47d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></i></b></span><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i><b style="background-color: #b6d7a8;"> </b></i></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span>his guy <a href="http://humanfoodproject.com/about/founder-jeff-leach/">Jeff Leach</a> is the person who got me started on this whole project with his <a href="http://humanfoodproject.com/">Human Food Project</a>. This is a <a href="https://youtu.be/yY34qzDpESk">video presentation he made</a> a couple of years ago that explains what he's doing to research this new field of microcosm and human gut health.<br />
<br />
Just like the seminal video by Robert Lustig, the pedestrian who turned the world on its head with his video "<a href="https://youtu.be/dBnniua6-oM">Sugar: The Bitter Truth</a>" this video lays it all on the line about the human microbiome.<br />
<br />
It's very amateurishly produced, but I urge you to just start it and then go about your business and listen to his talk; it's what he says that's important, not his hard-to-see presentation materials.<br />
<br />
Listen carefully to the whole thing and you might, as I did, have a revelation.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/yY34qzDpESk">Here's the link.</a>ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-9313352071486417762016-05-19T07:20:00.003-07:002016-05-19T07:20:48.935-07:00It's Alive!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
In case you thought the things in your gut just sat around and smoked: this is for you. And let me remind you: these guys outnumber your cells <i>ten to one</i>.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPRwgxfu5rChbYEY71ge0rP_E-8RPKdX0tCvMLvep4j1-gyJ8VZ3dvcOSLrJR-7_Set051EiYvXA4f64_Q-keJMeetjnUk59tRROdLxkchjAuJBD_BqMXhVIDswuR6fr4cF8fjn_RbpBg/s1600/bugz.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPRwgxfu5rChbYEY71ge0rP_E-8RPKdX0tCvMLvep4j1-gyJ8VZ3dvcOSLrJR-7_Set051EiYvXA4f64_Q-keJMeetjnUk59tRROdLxkchjAuJBD_BqMXhVIDswuR6fr4cF8fjn_RbpBg/s640/bugz.gif" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-49994256296615470772016-05-19T05:05:00.000-07:002016-05-19T05:15:38.834-07:00More News You Don't Need<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3HDIPdgdnRmKl4f8ro-_08rmrQcnRxC36E6dDTFN9WSYzd2-TOgCi2cfr4Tt65AZTEB1NibgfqQw-Kmhqp7SB6u8IYHY4Wgn5BLFio334Hn5szceoSoNigcVEwwYNXGTwGt5jIwAdHHw/s1600/Flavor_Enlarged_PremiumChurnedReduced-FatNoSugarAddedCaramelTurtleTruffle2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3HDIPdgdnRmKl4f8ro-_08rmrQcnRxC36E6dDTFN9WSYzd2-TOgCi2cfr4Tt65AZTEB1NibgfqQw-Kmhqp7SB6u8IYHY4Wgn5BLFio334Hn5szceoSoNigcVEwwYNXGTwGt5jIwAdHHw/s1600/Flavor_Enlarged_PremiumChurnedReduced-FatNoSugarAddedCaramelTurtleTruffle2.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="color: white; font-size: x-large;"><b><i style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #274e13;"> </span><span style="background-color: #134f5c; color: #b45f06;"> </span><span style="background-color: #6aa84f; color: white;">I</span></span><span style="background-color: #b45f06; color: white;"><span style="background-color: #93c47d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></i></b></span><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i><b style="background-color: #b6d7a8;"> </b></i></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span>think the best thing for me to do to foster a healthy gut biota is to munch on tree branches all day.<br />
<br />
Through my endless trolling I come across evidence that emulsifiers—those processed food additives that make things like ice cream creamy—<a href="http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v519/n7541/full/nature14232.html">really fuck up the microbiota.</a><br />
<br />
And, as usual, I tend to only pay attention to information from accredited science journals, not some Web MD's book-promotion site, so I'm looking at this carefully.<br />
<br />
It would explain a lot of things.<br />
<br />
It's not the ice cream per se that's so harmful to your health by making you obese and unhappy, but the emulsifiers added to it, is what these studies seem to be showing.<br />
<br />
I went immediately to see what the ingredients in my <a href="https://www.baskinrobbins.com/content/baskinrobbins/en/products/icecream/flavors/premiumchurnedreducedfatnosugaraddedcaramelturtletruffleicecream.html">favourite ice cream</a>—the "healthiest" that I could find on the market (no added sugar!) and immediately saw that it was positively packed full of artificial additives such as polysorbate-80 (an ingredient that I remember seeing on just about every product I've ever bought!) and various other emulsifier culprits.<br />
<br />
Take a look (red highlights mine):<br />
<br />
<i>Ingredients:</i><br />
<i>Nonfat Milk, No Sugar Added Dessert Base (<span style="color: #cc0000;">Maltitol, Maltodextrin, Polydextrose, Whey Protein Isolate, Tapioca Starch, Guar Gum, Mono and Diglycerides, Tara Gum, Cellulose Gum, Polysorbate 80, Xanthan Gum, Carrageenan,</span> Sucralose), Caramel Ribbon (<span style="color: #cc0000;">Maltitol Syrup</span>, Nonfat Milk, Cream, Glycerin, Whey, Salt, Pectin, Caramel Color, Natural and Artificial Flavors, <span style="color: #cc0000;">Disodium Phosphate, Carrageenan</span>), Cream</i><br />
<br />
I remind you that this is an ice cream that I have had to search high and low for, for the simple factor of "no added sugar," which is a non-ingredient that simply does not exist in 99% of commercial ice cream (I've looked in large grocery stores here in Montreal but also in California)—in other words, 99% of commercial ice cream has added sugar, and probably lots of it, in addition to all these emulsifiers that I just discovered in my favourite brand.<br />
<br />
And I can't get my ice cream just anywhere—I have to actually go to a Baskin Robbins outlet for it.<br />
<br />
You read scary shit like this:<br />
<br />
<i><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They found less diversity in the microbial species than in healthy mice, and found evidence that the microbes had migrated closer the cells lining the gut. Gewirtz and his colleagues suspect that the emulsifiers can break down the heavy mucus that lines the mammalian gut and prevents bacteria from coming into contact with gut cells. If this happens, the bacteria cause inflammation in the gut, which can also lead to changes in metabolism.</span></i><br />
<br />
Or this:<br />
<br />
<i><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Emulsifiers are now added to bread, chocolate, ice cream, margarine, processed meat, and more. But why? Add oil to water and the two liquids will never mix. At least not until an emulsifier is added. Emulsifiers are molecules with one water-loving (hydrophilic) and one oil-loving (hydrophobic) end. They make it possible for water and oil to become finely dispersed in each other, creating a stable, homogenous, smooth emulsion.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The study results show that, in a mouse model, two common emulsifiers — caboxymethylcellulose (CMC) and polysorbate-80 (P80) — not only change the composition of the gut microbiota, they also make the gut more porous. The altered microbiota has enhanced capacity to digest and infiltrate the dense mucus layer that lines the intestine — bacteria reach immune cells, thus inducing activation of inflammatory pathways and the development of severe inflammation.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Such changes in bacteria trigger chronic colitis in mice genetically prone to this disorder, due to abnormal immune systems. In contrast, in mice with normal immune systems, emulsifiers induce low-grade or mild intestinal inflammation and metabolic syndrome, characterized by increased levels of food consumption, obesity, hyperglycemia and insulin resistance.</span></i><br />
<br />
I'm finally beginning to understand just how the famed "Western Diet" is making people obese and screwing up their gut bacteria—and this is just one discovery in a long litany of alarming discoveries, all, I'd like to remind you, that don't come from the tree-hugging fringe of naturopsychopathic Diet Gurus, but from scientific studies actually conducted by actual scientists.<br />
<br />
I want some chocolate sprinkles on my frozen emulsifiers!ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7398089508570806854.post-50740314514320896082016-05-17T08:05:00.001-07:002016-05-17T08:08:00.659-07:00Progress<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsHfW6jeBueWoV_fGgximV5tYB_HI7KLSQa6bQgVTJpysHxRNxt_UGpX4Sdr6x7xdKvE-mo18c-0AoBCVTYBOoBOeutdQZNx6MiT2QrWzuBW0QVKfw3mAMprIfHyK_BLmytnOybPqZZuQ/s1600/Scene_15_2x_large.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsHfW6jeBueWoV_fGgximV5tYB_HI7KLSQa6bQgVTJpysHxRNxt_UGpX4Sdr6x7xdKvE-mo18c-0AoBCVTYBOoBOeutdQZNx6MiT2QrWzuBW0QVKfw3mAMprIfHyK_BLmytnOybPqZZuQ/s400/Scene_15_2x_large.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="color: white; font-size: x-large;"><b><i style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #4c1130;"> </span><span style="background-color: #a64d79; color: #b45f06;"> </span><span style="background-color: #c27ba0; color: white;">W</span></span><span style="background-color: #b45f06; color: white;"><span style="background-color: #d5a6bd; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></i></b></span><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i><b style="background-color: #ead1dc;"> </b></i></span></span> hat can I say?<br />
<br />
Barely 48 hours in and things have already started changing—drastically.<br />
<br />
I'll remind you that this time last week I was drinking my coffee with a heaped teaspoon of sugar, half-and-half cream and a hefty dollop of home-made whipped cream (it was delicious, as you can imagine!)<br />
<br />
Lunch, such as it was, was some Indian snacks—you know the kind; the stuff always called "Bombay Mix" or "Hot Spice"in your more progressive ethnic supermarket—and a tall glass of Extra Spicy Clamato (11g glucose/250ml, untold amounts of sodium, FD&C Red, Yellow and Day-glo Orange) and for the rest of the day, "fuzzy" sparkling water, the occasional blended black tea (1/2 tsp. sugar, cream) and occasionally, another coffee.<br />
<br />
For evening snacks it was a repeat of "lunch."<br />
<br />
For dinner, it was some sort of whole-wheat pita with chicken and various vegetables and salad-type ingredients, or whole-wheat pasta with home-made tomato sauce, or home-made pizza made with the same whole-wheat pita.<br />
<br />
Hey, that diet wasn't so bad, right?<br />
<br />
Hold your horses. I saved the best for the last.<br />
<br />
I started off with good intentions—Baskin-Robbins <a href="https://www.baskinrobbins.com/content/baskinrobbins/en/products/icecream/flavors/premiumchurnedreducedfatnosugaraddedcaramelturtletruffleicecream.html">no-sugar-added ice cream</a> (only purchaseable from a Baskin-Robbins store) with chopped strawberries and apples, chopped nuts and a whole heaping of home-made whipped cream—but over the months started adding Opéra cake from Brigitte's <a href="http://www.degascogne.com/">favourite patisserie</a>, and, predictably, more and more of that killer whipped cream.<br />
<br />
So that was the State of the Diet—no extracurricular snacks whatsoever, EVER (no potato chips, no popcorn, no "vegetable chips", no <i>nothing</i>.)<br />
<br />
But even with daily metformin, my blood sugars were going up as far as 11-12 mmol/L (216.0 mg/dL) and sometimes I was feeling a bit bilious upon waking, not to mention exploding psoriasis and odd mood swings—things I thought would have disappeared with my "low" sugar intake (compared to my no-holds-barred drinking self from a year ago).<br />
<br />
Well, I stopped taking metformin on Saturday, the last day of Phase One (my "normal" diet) but in the last 24 hours my blood sugar has never been over 7.5 and has now sunk to a regular 5~ reading—something I <i>never</i> saw even with my reduced sugar intake + metformin.<br />
<br />
And—fingers crossed—even just 48 hours in, the psoriasis on my hands and face seems to be . . . <i>holding its breath</i>. As if it's just waiting to see if a storm has passed before it renews its onslaught, or is packing its bags to <i>get out of town</i>.<br />
<br />
Remember, I'm no granola-crunching, sprout-nibbling, PETA-loving vegan tree hugger, but based on the evidence of only 48 hours with this new "restricted" diet I think I'm seeing things that mean my microbiome is already partying in the streets.ChefNickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14506706291656673082noreply@blogger.com0